The Secrets of Happy Families (Bruce Fieler)

 

This was a great book to listen to. Even though our kids are grown, it had lots of good tips.

Notes

- Adapt all the time - Talk, a lot.  - Create a family narrative - learn about ancestors successes and failures. Spend time crafting the story of your positive moments and how you overcame challenges.  - play together 

All happy families are alike. All unhappy families are unhappy in their own way - Tolstoy 

Happiness is something we make. 

Choose happiness. 

The easiest path to unhappiness is to do nothing. 

Tackle the challenge 

Tweak the routines 

Reach for the green stick (Tolstoy reference)

Goodreads says:

In The Secrets of Happy Families, New York Times bestselling author Bruce Feiler has drawn up a blueprint for modern families — a new approach to family dynamics, inspired by cutting-edge techniques gathered from experts in the disciplines of science, business, sports, and the military.

▪Don't worry about family dinner.
▪Let your kids pick their punishments.
▪Ditch the sex talk.
▪Cancel date night.

These are just a few of the surprising innovations in this bold first-of-its-kind playbook for today's families. Bestselling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families.

Instead of the usual family "experts," he sought out the most creative minds—from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets—and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families. Feiler then tested these ideas with his wife and kids. The result is a fun, original look at how families can draw closer together, complete with 200 never-before-seen best practices.

Feiler's life-changing discoveries include a radical plan to reshape your family in twenty minutes a week, Warren Buffett's guide for setting an allowance, and the Harvard handbook for resolving conflict. The Secrets of Happy Families is a timely, counterintuitive book that answers the questions countless parents are asking: How do we manage the chaos of our lives? How do we teach our kids values? How do we make our family happier?

Written in a charming, accessible style, The Secrets of Happy Families is smart, funny, and fresh, and will forever change how your family lives every day.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace (Nedra Glover Tawwab)

 

I've always had the view that boundaries were about being tough and it wasn't something I really valued as part of my personality. I have to re-think that now after reading this book. The truth is, in many aspects of my life, I'm pretty good at boundaries. This book opened up some new categories I hadn't really put much thought into before. Some of it I didn't agree with but there was a lot of new perspectives I hadn't considered. I never thought about boundaries with myself...think self-development! I think this book would be a great one for all obligers to read....and truthfully, I think we all have a little bit of obliger in us. I also really liked her suggestions on boundaries for social media/smart phones:

Limit overconsumption of online content to protect mental health (public interviews and her Instagram guidance emphasize reducing overwhelm).

Be intentional about how often and why you use social platforms.

Mute, unfollow, or block accounts that cause stress, comparison, or emotional harm (a frequent theme in her Instagram Q&As).

Set time boundaries around device use to support rest, presence, and emotional regulation.

Understand that social media isn’t “real life,” and protect your energy accordingly.

Goodreads says:.
End the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.

Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them–in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do “healthy boundaries” really mean–and how can we successfully express our needs, say “no,” and be assertive without offending others?

Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today’s world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology–and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.

Why Fascists Fear Teacher (Randi Weingarten)

 

Bottom line: Fascists don't want people to read or learn
Trump: Fascist
Alberta is headed that way too.
Well worth the read!

Goodreads says:

America’s most influential teacher’s union leader tells the anti-fascist history of public education, warning that American teachers today are under a new fascist assault--from book bans to culture wars and organized groups of “concerned” parents dictating what can be taught.

In 1940, as Hitler was gaining power and territory across Europe, a Nazi puppet government was put in power in Norway.  Teachers were among the first to publicly resist their rule—and they were winning. Frustrated that their attempts to recruit teachers into the party failed, the Nazis barged into Norway’s schools, beating teachers and students. When they still refused to submit, the Nazis closed the schools.  But the teachers figured out how to teach in private.  Increasingly incensed, the fascist government sent 1,300 teachers to concentration camps and 500 others to forced labor camps.  Even there, teachers kept teaching--and students kept learning how to think for themselves.  

As the head of one of the largest teacher’s union in the country, Randi Weingarten sees firsthand how today’s teachers are guarding American democracy against the threat of fascism. Drawing on history and decades of experience in the American public school system, she argues that teaching students to think critically is the key to defeating would-be dictators. She encourages teachers to continue promoting difference and healthy debate in their classrooms, and warns against censorship and complacency, looking to history to warn us all about what can happen if we devalue teachers and public schools.

Part history and part call to arms, Why Fascists Fear Teachers is a manifesto for American teachers from the author that Trump-appointed former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo once called “the most dangerous person in the world.” This deeply researched, urgent book from teachers’ greatest champion is necessary reading for our times.

Supercommunicators (Charles Duhigg)

 

I read another book by this author called The Power of Habit. It was really good.

I had to do some reframing with this book. I know people that he describes. I have often labelled them as manipulators. They're good at working people and "getting them on their side". People who laugh a lot (and loud) with people seem fake to me. I'm aware that laughter is a social construct. 

When phones first came out people thought no one would have REAL conversations on the phone. Teenagers proved that wrong! Talking on the phone requires more annunciating. 

Online communication is tricker because there is no voice. For example, a winking emoji after sarcasm helps improve communication. Rules of good online communication: Over emphasize politeness. Express more gratitude, deference, greetings, apologies and hedges.

"The right conversation, at the right moment, can change everything."

p. 112 Less than 20% of the laughter in our sample was a response to anything resembling a formal effort at humor. Rather, people laughedbecause they wanted to connect with the person they were speaking with. The vast majority of laughs, Provine wrote, "seemed to follow rather banal remarks," such as "Does anyone have a rubber band?"; "It was nice meeting you too"; and "U think I'm done." Mutual playfulness, in -group feeling and positive emotional tone - not comedy - mark the social settings of most naturally occurring laughter," Province concluded. Laughter is powerful, he wrote, because it is contagious, "Immediate and involuntary, involving the most direct communication possible between people: Brain to brain."
We laugh, in other words, to show someone that we want to connec twith them - and our companions laugh back to demonstrate they want to connect with us, as well. ....and so it follows that we exhibit emotional intelligence not just by hearing another person's feelings, but by showing we have heard them. Laughter, and other nonlinguistic expressios such as gasps and sighs, or smiles and frowns, are emobidiments of the matching principle, which says that we communicate by aligning our behaviors until our brains become entrained.

But how we match other people matters...If we chuckle only slightly at someone's joke, while they laugh uproariously, we'll both see it as a sign that we're not in sync - or worse, that one of us is trying too hard, or the other is not trying hard enough.

p. 118 One of the reasons supercommunicators are so talented at picking up on how others feel is because they have a habit of noticing the energy in others' gestures, the volume of their voices, how fast they are speaking, their cadence and affect. They pay attention to whether someone's posture indicates they are feeling down, or if they are are so excited they can barely contain it. Supercommunicators allow themselves to match that energy and mood, or at least acknowledge it, and thereby make it clear they want to align. They help us see and hear our feelings via their own bodies and voices. By matching our mood and energy, they make it obvious they are trying to connect.

p. 142 In a conflict, we draw out emotions by proving we are listening. We prove we are listening by looping for understanding (1. ask questions, 2. Summarize what you heard. 3. Ask if you got it right and repeat until everyone agrees we understand.)

p. 163 In a conflict, everyone craves control, but trying to control someone is destructive. Focus on controlling yourself, your environment and the conflict's boundaries.

p. 193 How to talk about who we are:

1. Draw out multiple identities
2. Put everyone on equal footing
3. Create new groups by building on existing identities

Podcasts about this book:
Art of Manliness (ugh for that title) 

Articles about this book:

Time Magazine How to Have More Meaningful Conversations

Financial Times Super Communicators are Made, Not Born

Linked In A Useful Concise Summary of Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg

Videos:
Four Minute Book Summaries

---

1. The Three Conversation Types

Duhigg argues most interactions unfold within one (or a mix) of these:

Conversation Type	Central Question	Dominant Mode
Practical (Analytical)	“What’s this really about?”	Logic, evidence, decision-making
Emotional (Feelings)	“How do we feel?”	Emotions, vulnerabilities, empathy
Social / Identity‑based	“Who are we?”	Group roles, identity, self‑perception

2. The Matching Principle

Match others’ tone, pace, body language, and emotional energy to build rapport—and even entrain brainwaves in group settings.

3. Looping for Understanding - builds trust and ensures clarity

A three-step listening technique:

1. Ask a probing question

2. Repeat in your own words what you heard

3. Confirm accuracy with the speaker....ask if you got it right. 
   

4. Four Rules of “Learning Conversations”

To align conversations and deepen connection, follow these guidelines:

• Identify the conversation type

• Share and request goals

• Ask about feelings and share your own

• Note if identities or roles matter to what’s being discussed.

5. Navigating Conflict & Identity Safely

• Recognize conflict often stems from emotional or identity-based conversations.

• Prepare for tough conversations by listening first, acknowledging identities, avoiding generalizations, and using personal stories—not lectures.

6. Digital Communication Cues (Online Etiquette)

For online messaging and forums:

• Err on the side of politeness, limit sarcasm, express appreciation and deference, and avoid criticism in public threads.

---

Actionable Takeaways

• Pause and Reflect: Before speaking, ask yourself what kind of conversation you want to have and what the other person might want.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage others to share their values, beliefs, and experiences.
• Listen Actively: Pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, and ask follow-up questions to show you're engaged.
• Express Empathy: Validate the other person's emotions and show that you understand their perspective.
• Share Your Own Vulnerabilities: Build trust by sharing your own experiences and feelings.
• Acknowledge Social Identities: Be aware of how social identities might be influencing the conversation, and create a safe space for diverse perspectives.
• Practice Looping for Understanding: Summarize what you heard and ask the speaker if the summary was accurate.

Goodreads says:

Who and what are supercommunicators? They're the people who can steer a conversation to a successful conclusion. They are able to talk about difficult topics without giving offence. They know how to make others feel at ease and share what they think. They're brilliant facilitators and decision-guiders. How do they do it?

In this groundbreaking book, Charles Duhigg unravels the secrets of the supercommunicators to reveal the art - and the science - of successful communication. He unpicks the different types of everyday conversation and pinpoints why some go smoothly while others swiftly fall apart. He reveals the conversational questions and gambits that bring people together. And he shows how even the most tricky of encounters can be turned around. In the process, he shows why a CIA operative was able to win over a reluctant spy, how a member of a jury got his fellow jurors to view an open-and-shut case differently, and what a doctor found they needed to do to engage with a vaccine sceptic.

Above all, he reveals the techniques we can all master to successfully connect with others, however tricky the circumstances. Packed with fascinating case studies and drawing on cutting-edge research, this book will change the way you think about what you say, and how you say it.

More Than Words (Roz Maclean)

 This author is Canadian and her bio says she is passionate about education, inclusion and the arts. I'd like to know her! She has many more books on her website that are perfect for learning about inclusion.

"You might think talking is the only way to say something. Well, it is one way."

I love the list of suggestions at the back to help everyone have communication access:

- Have an open and accepting attitude to all ways of communications

- Instead of ignoring someone with a communication disability, show an interest in getting to know them.

- Make sure you are directing your attention to the person you are communicating with, not their communication partner.

- Ask questions and learn about how someone communicates

- Remember that just because someone doesn't speak doesn't make they don't understand

- Presume competence: believe someone can understand you and express themselves if they have the right tools and they learn to use those tools

- Understand that learning to use a communication system takes time, practice and support.

- Using a communication system can take longer. Allow extra time and be patient with yourself and others.

- Learn some (or a lot of ) sign language.

- Be aware of your surroundings. Noise, distractions, stress or feeling overwhelmed may impact ability to communicate.

We can all work together to help everyone have communication access!

Goodreads says:

A CBC Kids Reads Competition Finalist

In the tradition of All Are Welcome and The Day You Begin comes a touching picture book about the many unique ways we communicate, and how we can better listen to and respect these different modes of expression.

Nathan doesn't say much.
He sure has a lot on his mind, though.

At school, Nathan quietly observes the ways his peers communicate. Even when they’re not talking, they’re expressing themselves in all sorts of ways!

By witnessing the beauty of communication diversity, Nathan learns and shows his classmates the essential Not only does everyone have something to say, but seeking to understand one another can be the greatest bridge to friendship and belonging.

This tender, stunningly illustrated picture book explores and celebrates the many forms of expression—signing, speaking, singing, smiling, among others—and culminates in a poignant story about connection and understanding.

Includes additional material at the end of the book with vocabulary, an introduction to various forms of communication, and information about communication access, perfect for back-to-school and classroom discussions.

The Next Conversation (Jefferson Fisher)

 

Jefferson Fisher is the real deal. He seems authentic and kind. His social media account is full of helpful communication ideas...and he communicates them so well! I also subscribed to his podcast after reading the book. I'll always make time to listen to him. His book is a quick read. He doesn't get caught up in theories. It's full of lots of how-to's.

Goodreads says:

From communication expert Jefferson Fisher, the definitive book on making your next conversation the one that changes everything

No matter who you’re talking to, The Next Conversation gives you immediately actionable strategies and phrases that will forever change how you communicate. Jefferson Fisher, trial lawyer and one of the leading voices on real-world communication, offers a tried-and-true framework that will show you how to transform your life and your relationships by improving your next conversation.

Fisher has gained millions of followers through short, simple, practical videos teaching people how to argue less and talk more. Whether it’s handling a heated conversation, dealing with a difficult personality, or standing your ground with confidence, his down-to-earth teachings have helped countless people navigate life’s toughest situations. Now for the first time, Fisher has distilled his three-part communication system (Say it with control, Say it with confidence, Say it to connect) that can easily be applied to any situation.

You will learn:

- Why you should never “win” an argument
- How to assert yourself and communicate with intention
- How to set boundaries and frame conversations
- Why saying less is often more
- How to overcome conflict with connection

The Next Conversation will give you practical phrases that will lead to powerful results, from breaking down defensiveness in a hard talk with a family member to finding your own assertive voice at the boardroom conference table. Your every word matters, and by controlling how you communicate every day, you will create waves of positive impact that will resonate throughout your relationships to last a lifetime.

Everything you want to say, and how you want to say it, can be found in The Next Conversation.

How To Keep House While Drowning (KC David, LPC)

 

I learned about this book from someone i follow on instagram. Can I be honest? I was a little put off by all the lack of upper case letters on the cover....but after reading it I think maybe that was strategic. I don't really have a hard time with keeping house and being organized so I wasn't sure this book would be for me - but the more I read the more I appreciated her thinking. Self-compassion is key and so many of the approaches she talks about would work in many other aspects of my life like teaching school, being a Relief Society president and more. 

Notes:

Setting priorities
She explains a really helpful tool for prioritizing: the 9 square. 

p. 12 Pick an rea of your life: school, activism, parenting, et cetera. Write a list of things you think are important for yourself. First, think of hte items that have the highest impact. Next list the items that have a medium impact. Next, divide them into those things that take low effort, medium effort or a high amount of effort and place the items in corresponding squares on the chart.
Once the chart is filled out, you can it to determine what to focus on When things in your life are ideal, you may strive to d o all he squares. Come under some stress and the black square is de-prioritized without guilt. Come under a bit more stres or for a prolonger period and the dark blue squares are de-prioritized in order to focus on the light blue squares. 

Sometimes, priorities that do the most good with the least amount of energy is what you should focus on. 
This tool will give you permission not to feel guilty about what you don't do. 

Handling criticism:

 p. 115 Even as we become comfortable giving ourselves kindnessa nd compassion in the midst of struggle, we often still have to contend with friends or family members who are at different parts of the journey of moral neutrality. How do we respond when someone criticizes the state of our home or tries to "help" us by giving advice that really doesn't fit?

My favorite phrase for well-meaning family is, "I know you want to see me in a fictioning environment and I want you to know that I want that for myself also. I am on my own journey to find aht works for me and what I need most from you is a nonjudgmental support. One thing that could really help me right now is ________."

And give them a tangible task that they can do! "Take these bags of clothes to the donation bin," "Sit with my while I clean my room," "Help me call a cleaning service or make a doctor's appointment." Sometimes all our loved ones need is to be redicrected to a way they can actually help. If after you give them ways to help they decline, it's okay to say, "Then teh most helpful thing you can do for me is not make comments about my space."

If you have a particularly rude or pushy person in your life, you can use my favorite boudary phrase, which s "thank you for your concern, but I am not taking any feedback on that issue right now."

Or my personal favorite "The key for me being able to given to run a functioning home was when I stopped talking to myself the way you are talking to me right now."

On weight:
your weight is morally neutral (capitals left off on purpose because the author did that...even though it pains me)

p. 139 One night I was lying in bed and cuddling my eighteen-month-old. She was asleep in my arms with her angelic face resting in the crook of my elbow. We were lying next to my husband, a man whom I love deeply and who loes me. On the floor on a little pallet was my three-year-old, a spitfire little sprite who brightens my world. I realized that I only ever wanted to be skinny because i wanted to be loved and happy. But I already have that. Skinny hasn't seemed very important to me since then.

Goodreads says:

How to Keep House While Drowning will introduce you to six life-changing principles that will revolutionize the way you approach home care—without endless to-do lists. Presented in 31 daily thoughts, this compassionate guide will help you begin to get free of the shame and anxiety you feel over home care.

Inside you will learn:
· How to shift your perspective of care tasks from moral to functional;
· How to stop negative self-talk and shame around care tasks;
· How to give yourself permission to rest, even when things aren’t finished;
· How to motivate yourself to care for your space.

Dream Teams (Shane Snow)

 

My word of the year this year is swing. I thought this might be a good book to add to my knowledge on how to develop good swing....however, it didn't quite work for me. I found myself disinterested in many of the stories. They were long and it seemed like it took a long time to get to the point. After about 150 pages I considered abandoning it, but instead, I skipped a bunch of stories and tried to look for some nuggets. I was also irritated by the multitude of footnotes. Just put it in the paragraph if it really matters! I was touched by the author's vulnerable story at the end. He looks way to young in his picture to have gone through financial disaster, homelessness and divorce already!

Goodreads says:

Award-winning entrepreneur and journalist Shane Snow reveals the counterintuitive reasons why so many partnerships and groups break down--and why some break through.

The best teams are more than the sum of their parts, but why does collaboration so often fail to fulfill this promise? In  Dream Teams , Snow takes us on an adventure through history, neuroscience, psychology, and business, exploring what separates groups that simply get by together from those that get better together.

You'll
   *   How ragtag teams--from soccer clubs to startups to gangs of pirates--beat the odds throughout history.
   *   Why DaimlerChrysler flopped while the Wu-Tang Clan succeeded, and the surprising factor behind most failed mergers, marriages, and partnerships.
   *   What the Wright Brothers' daily arguments can teach us about group problem solving.
   *   Pioneering women in law enforcement, unlikely civil rights collaborators, and underdog armies that did the incredible together.
   *   The team players behind great social movements in history, and the science of becoming open-minded.

Provocative and entertaining,  Dream Teams  is a landmark work that will change the way we think about people, progress, and collaboration.

The Iheards (Emily Kilgore)

 

We have a Mason in our class so we had to change the name of the main character. Ivan! 

This book struck a chord. We ran out of time so we will have a discussion about it tomorrow. The good news was right after we read it, some boys decided to spread positive iheards. It warmed my heart! 

Goodreads says:

Mason is struggling with his Iheards in this picture book about gossip from the author/illustrator team behind The Whatifs .


It didn't matter if the Iheards were true or made-up, harmless or hurtful.
As soon as Mason thought about them, the Iheards burst out.

Mason is constantly gossiping about everyone. Because of this, the Iheards love him. They sneak up to him and whisper all kinds of rumors in his real things or pretend, innocent or mean. As he prepares for an upcoming history presentation, the Iheards buzz all around, making him blurt out more rumors than usual. Will he be able to change from spreading gossip to sharing something more positive?

Do You Speak Fish? (CJ Corchin)

 

A super cute way to talk about thinking about things from other people's perspectives and communicating with people that are tricky to communicate with.

Goodreads says:

A simple yet heartwarming story that demonstrates how to overcome communication barriers and better understand those who come from different backgrounds and cultures

When a child meets a fish and says hello, the fish does not respond. The child is shocked. What a rude fish! But soon the child learns that it's not up to the fish to speak the child's language. And if the child wants to communicate, he'll have to take the time to learn how to speak Fish.

The Wisdom of Trees (Lita Judge)

 

I've read a few things about how trees seem to communicate. This is a wonderful addition to that topic.

Goodreads says:

With lush illustrations, poems, and accessible scientific information, The Wisdom of Trees by Lita Judge is a fascinating exploration of the hidden communities trees create to strengthen themselves and others.

We clean the air and seed the clouds, we drench the thirsty land with rain. We are like wizards.

The story of a tree is a story of community, communication, and cooperation. Although trees may seem like silent, independent organisms, they form a network buzzing with they talk, share food, raise their young, and offer protection. Trees thrive on diversity, learn from their ancestors, and give back to their communities. Trees not only sustain life on our planet―they can also teach us important lessons about patience, survival, and teamwork.

A New York Public Library Best Book of 2021
A New York Public Library Top Ten Book for Kids
Green Earth Book Award Longlist
An ALA SustainRT Top 10 Sustainability-Themed Children’s Books 2022

Bird Talk (Lita Judge)

 

Beautiful illustrations! Fascinating information about how birds communicate.

Goodreads says:

A gorgeously illustrated tribute to birds of all kinds and the fantastic, funny, fascinating things that they do.

Birds have lots of ways of They sing and talk, dance and drum, cuddle and fight. But what does all of the bird talk mean?
Filled with gorgeous illustrations, this fascinating picture book takes a look at the secret life of birds in a child-friendly format that is sure to appeal to readers of all ages - whether they're die-hard bird-watchers or just curious about the creatures in their own backyards.

The Explosive Child (Ross W Greene)

 

I really liked this book. It approaches children respectfully and is collaborative. I think the title is unfortunate. I think all kids would benefit from these strategies - not just the explosive ones. It would work for the ones who don't like to talk or have cut themselves off from adults as well as many other kids.

Goodreads says:

An experienced therapist offers groundbreaking--and compassionate--techniques for helping "chronically inflexible" children, who suffer from excessively immoderate tempers, showing how brain-based deficits contribute to these problems and offering positive and constructive ways to calm things down. 

I Lost My Words (Rita Joe)

 

There is a reverence that happens when we read First Nation's stories. The students seem to really empathize with the stories. 

Goodreads says:

I lost my talk
The talk you took away
When I was a little girl
At Shubenacadie school.

One of Rita Joe’s most influential poems, “I Lost My Talk” tells the revered Mi’kmaw Elder’s childhood story of losing her language while a resident of the residential school in Shubenacadie, Nova Scotia. An often quoted piece in this era of truth and reconciliation, Joe’s powerful words explore and celebrate the survival of Mi’kmaw culture and language despite its attempted eradication.

A companion book to the simultaneously published I’m Finding My Talk by Rebecca Thomas, I Lost My Talk is a necessary reminder of a dark chapter in Canada’s history, a powerful reading experience, and an effective teaching tool for young readers of all cultures and backgrounds. Includes a biography of Rita Joe and striking colour illustrations by Mi’kmaw artist Pauline Young. 

Big Little Lies (Liane Moriarty)

This book kept me up way too late. Usually I don't like to read books about domestic violence and infidelity, but I loved this book. In some ways it seemed shallow and yet it seemed entirely realistic. The way everyone kept their secrets is what people really do. As a teacher who watches families who become friends through school, the banter between people in the story made me laugh. Each of the characters in this book represented people I know. It was very relatable. The story was well written and light-hearted while being very serious. I didn't figure out who died until way after most readers probably do. LOL


Goodreads says:

Madeline is a force to be reckoned with. She’s funny and biting, passionate, she remembers everything and forgives no one. Her ex-husband and his yogi new wife have moved into her beloved beachside community, and their daughter is in the same kindergarten class as Madeline’s youngest (how is this possible?). And to top it all off, Madeline’s teenage daughter seems to be choosing Madeline’s ex-husband over her. (How. Is. This. Possible?).

Celeste is the kind of beautiful woman who makes the world stop and stare. While she may seem a bit flustered at times, who wouldn’t be, with those rambunctious twin boys? Now that the boys are starting school, Celeste and her husband look set to become the king and queen of the school parent body. But royalty often comes at a price, and Celeste is grappling with how much more she is willing to pay.

New to town, single mom Jane is so young that another mother mistakes her for the nanny. Jane is sad beyond her years and harbors secret doubts about her son. But why? While Madeline and Celeste soon take Jane under their wing, none of them realizes how the arrival of Jane and her inscrutable little boy will affect them all.

Big Little Lies is a brilliant take on ex-husbands and second wives, mothers and daughters, schoolyard scandal, and the dangerous little lies we tell ourselves just to survive. 

The Boy Who Cried Ninja (Alex Latimer)

This is one of those books where kids get together and roll their eyes at the adults in their lives. Adults just don't get it!

This is a twist on the boy who cried wolf. Time has a great fantasy life. Well, everyone assumes it is fantasy. One of my students was able to summarize the story before we read this one. I should have asked at the end if they really were similar stories. It could be a good compare and contrast exercise. Definitely a great discussion starter for imagination.

This book would be a great way to start into a discussion about telling the truth.

Goodreads says:

In this quirky twist on The Boy Who Cried Wolf, a boys excuses turn out to have an unexpected element of truth.

Hold Tight (Harlan Coben)

This was a book club pick for me. It took me a little while to get into it. I was fascinated by the premise of parents concerned about their teenager and monitoring his on-line activity - but I was also a little afraid to get too into it and find out what was going on. I think partially, I know I don't monitor my teenager's online activity very well and I was afraid to read about awful stuff happening and having to wonder if that could happen to my kid. Once I got into the story though, it was hard to put down. It was definitely a page turner.

I had trouble keeping all the characters straight. There are A LOT of characters in this book. I should have written them all down. Instead I kept them in this loose net in my mind, with some slipping through.

It made for a great discussion at book club. There were so many difficult and controversial topics: perfectionism, teenage suicide, teenage privacy versus monitoring, family secrets, etc.

I should probably read it again and see if I see hints dropped here and there that I didn't see the first time around.


Goodreads says:

Harlan Coben delivers a #1 New York Times bestseller that asks how well parents really know their children—and puts them on a technological roller coaster of their worst fears.

“We’re losing him.” With those words, Mike and Tia Baye decide to spy on their sixteen-year-old son Adam, who has become increasingly moody and withdrawn since the suicide of his best friend. The software they install on his computer shows them every Web site visited, every e-mail sent or received, every instant message. And each keystroke draws them deeper and deeper into a maze of mayhem and violence that could destroy them all... 

The Wild Robot Escapes (Peter Brown)

Who would think a J fiction book could pull such emotions out and be so entertaining! This book is a beauty. After I finished The Wild Robot, I went to the library that day and got the second book. I had to find out what happened to Roz. I think there could even be a third book. I hope there will be! In this book, Roz meets her maker (like her real maker...the person who made her) and they are very different from each other. Roz is soft hearted and loves her child (a goose), but her maker has spent her entire life alone. I loved how Roz got to know her and didn't judge her.

The author's story of writing the book is a thrill to read as well.

March 2, 2020:

I read The Wild Robot to my class this year and really didn't intend on reading book two. I thought I'd inspire them to go off and find the book themselves - but no. There was no talking them out of it. We HAD to read The Wild Robot Escapes together. 

This really is an amazing book and reading it aloud brought all sorts of new emotions (who cries in a robot book?! Me!) and they loved it. This book would make a GREAT movie and we sure would LOVE to read a book three. 

Roz on how she survived: p. 240 "Although I could speak to the animals, they still do not trust me," said Roz. "So I tried to win them over with kindness. Animals ran frm me and laughed at me and attacked me, and I always responded with kindness. It was a good strategy. But the real key to my survival came in the form of a gosling. When I adopted Brightbull everything changed. I was finally accepted by the animals. I was surrounded by friends and families. I was home."

p. 241: "Every problem has a peaceful solution. Violence is unnecessary."

p. 242: While talking to Dr Molovo, Roz discusses her purpose:
..."I have to imagine everything that could possibly go wrong. But all my decisions are guided by a single question: What is the robot's purpose?"
Quietly, Roz asked her Designer, "What is my purpose?"
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Roz, but you don't have some grand purpose. Like all the other ROZZUM robots, you were designed to work for robots. That's it."
The robot thought for a moment, then she said, "I once suggested to a group of wild animals that my purpose might simply be to help others."
The Designer thought for a moment. Then she said, "When you put it that way, your purpose does sound rather grand, doesn't it?"

Reread October 2023

p. 243 The robot thought for a moment. Then she said, "I once suggested to a group of wild animals that my purpose might simply be to help others."

If only everyone realized that that is perhaps everyone's purpose! 

Goodreads says:

Shipwrecked on a remote, wild island, Robot Roz learned from the unwelcoming animal inhabitants and adapted to her surroundings--but can she survive the challenges of the civilized world and find her way home to Brightbill and the island?

Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)

Reread March 27, 2018

I listened to the audio tape while driving back from Kelowna. Often when I read, I like to make connections to my studies of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I kept thinking, as I was listening, that this all relates to many lessons I have heard and studied about hope. Then, at the end, she talked about the connections to hope. 

This is a great book: well worth re-reading again.

Originally read June 29, 2016

My sister-in-law has talked a lot about this author and then I started noticing her name pop up in all sorts of different places.  The admiration is well deserved. She definitely has some good stuff in this book. It is the kind of book I should read and re-read. I bought this one because I found a book study group that was discussing it over three months. We went to the discussions. It really held me to think a little deeper about the concepts. 

Great quotes:

P. 8 Connection is why we're here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose an meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering."

"P. 25 Lynne Twist (The Soul of Money): For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didn't get enough sleep." The next one us "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not...We spend most of our days.....worrying we don't have enough....this internal scarcity...lives at the very heart of our jealousies, or greed, our greed, our prejudices, and our arguments with life."

P. 53 Trust is a product of vulnerability that grows over time an requires work, attention, and full engagement. Trust isn't a grand gesture-it's a a marble collection.

P. 113 Masks make us feel safer even when they become suffocating. Armour makes us feel stronger even when we grow weary from dragging the weight around. The irony is that when we're standing across from someone who is hidden or shielded by masks and armour, we feel frustrated and disconnected. That's the paradox here: vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you. 

P. 133 Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good (Cribbed from Voltaire). A twenty minute wake that I do us better than the four-mike run that I don't do. The imperfect book that gets published us better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. The dinner party of take-out Chinese food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.

P. 137 There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

P. 231 ....fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are. 

P. 243 Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do us just show up.

Goodreads Summary:

Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a powerful new vision that encourages us to dare greatly: to embrace vulnerability and imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and to courageously engage in our lives.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore Roosevelt

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Whether the arena is a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation, we must find the courage to walk into vulnerability and engage with our whole hearts.

In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection. The book that Dr. Brown’s many fans have been waiting for, Daring Greatly will spark a new spirit of truth—and trust—in our organizations, families, schools, and communities.