The Other Side of Change (Maya Shankar)

 

This book has a great message. I didn't love the audio (read by the author) but the message was strong. It's all about having the courage and faith to make the best of whatever happens in life. Who doesn't need that message?!

Goodreads says:

"With powerful stories and practical science, Maya examines how we find purpose after adversity and possibility under uncertainty.” —Adam Grant

"A rare combination of beautiful storytelling, cognitive science, and wholehearted wisdom. —Brené Brown

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

A revelatory exploration of how we can find meaning in the tumult of change, from a renowned cognitive scientist and host of the critically acclaimed podcast A Slight Change of Plans

Life has a way of thwarting our best-laid plans. Out of nowhere, we’re confronting the end of a relationship, an unexpected diagnosis, the loss of a job, or some other twist of fate. In these moments, it can feel like we’re free-falling into the unknown.

As a cognitive scientist, Maya Shankar has spent decades studying the human mind. When an unwanted change in her own life left her reeling, she sought out people who had navigated major disruptions. In The Other Side of Change, Shankar tells their riveting, singular stories and weaves in scientific insights to illuminate universal lessons hidden within them. The result is a rich portrait of our complex reactions to change and a deep well of wisdom we can draw from during these experiences.

Shankar invites us to rethink our relationship with change altogether. When a big change happens to us, it can lead to profound change within us. The unique stresses and demands of being thrust into a new reality can lead us to uncover new abilities, perspectives, and values, transforming us in extraordinary ways. What if we saw moments of upheaval as an opportunity to reimagine who we can be, rather than as something to just endure? What potential could we unlock within ourselves?

Whether you're processing a past change, grappling with a present one, or bracing for a future one, this book is a wise and thought-provoking companion to help you discover who you can become on the other side of change.

Lost Evangeline (Kate DiCamillo)

 

Kate DiCamillo is in her Norse tales phase. I read The Puppets of Spelhorst and wasn't quite as enamored. This one left me with a feeling like this is a special book. There is another one called The Hotel Balzaar. I don't think the stories are connected at all except that they're all in her series of Norendy tales.

The first picture in the book was in color and seemed to be glued in. That was interesting. Also, this is a tale with a typical mean old step mother who is happy to get rid of her. Her father spends his life searching for her and in the end it says there is a status in Denmark with a real working lantern. 

The illustrations in this book were very captivating. I found myself wanting to sit and look at them longer than usual. It's a quick read....less than an hour. This is another magical Kate DiCamillo book. She seemed to be channeling Thumbelina, Hansel and Gretel, and Alice in Wonderland in a dark and magical way.

Goodreads says:

Two-time Newbery Medalist Kate DiCamillo reunites with two-time Caldecott Medalist Sophie Blackall in an original fairy tale set in the world of The Puppets of Spelhorst and The Hotel Balzaar.

When a shoemaker discovers a tiny girl (as small as a mouse!) in his shop, he takes her in, names her Evangeline, and raises her as his own. The shoemaker’s wife, however, fears that Evangeline has bewitched her husband, so when an opportunity arises to rid herself of the girl, she takes it. Evangeline finds herself far from her adopted father and her home, a tiny girl lost in the wide world. But she is brave, and she is resourceful, and with the help of those she meets on her journey—including a disdainful and self-satisfied cat—she may just find her way again. Return to the magical land of Norendy in this third original fairy tale by renowned storyteller Kate DiCamillo, perfect for savoring alone or for reading aloud with someone you love. Graced with exquisite black-and-white illustrations by Sophie Blackall, this timeless story of a girl and her father will make you believe in the impossible.

The Obstacle is the Way (Ryan Holiday)

 

I'm buying this one and putting it on my canon list...books to read at least annually. It is so good! I tire of people who tell you to just be positive. This book does that, but also has amazing examples and strategies along the way to help you with persistence. It took me a while to read it because I found myself wanting to record many of the great ideas an antidotes!

Notes:

p. 6 There is an old Zen story about a king whose people had grown soft and entitled. Dissatisfied with this state of affairs, he hoped to teach them a lesson. His plan was simple: He would place a large boulder in the middle of the main road, completely blocking entry into the city. He would then hide nearby and observe their reactions.
  How would they respond? Would they band together to remove it? Or would they get discouraged, quit and return home?
  With growing disappointment, the king watched as subject after subject came to this impediment and turned away. Or, at best, tried halfheartedly before giving up. Many openly complained or cursed the king or fortune or bemoaned the inconvenience, but none managed to do anything about it.
  After several days, a lone peasant came along on his way into town. He did not turn away. Instead he strained and strained, trying to push it out of the way. Then an idea came to him: He scrambled into a nearby woods to find something he could use for leverage. Finally, he returned with a large branch he had crafted into a lever and deployed it to dislodge the massive rock from the road. 
   Beneath the rock were a purse of gold coins and a note from the king, which said:
   "The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition."

p. 8 The things which hurt, instruct.
- Benjamin Franklin

p. 9 Three interdependent, interconnected, and the fluidly contingent disciplines: Perception, action and the will.

The Discipline of Perception

John D Rockefeller 
- bookkeeper and aspiring investor
- son of an alcoholic who'd abandoned his family
- took his first job at age 16 and earned fifty cents a day
- in financial crises he witnessed he had a sense of cool about him....he would observe how people were responding and then make his decisions
- once turned down $500,000 from investors who wanted him to find ways to invest it in oil. He had the strength to resist temptation or excitement

How to have his kind of success:
- be objective
- control emotions and keep an even keel
- choose to see the good in a situation
- keep nerves steady
- ignore what disturbs or limits others
- place things in perspective
- revert to the present moment
- focus on what CAN be controlled

Recognize Your Power

 Choose not to be harmed - and you won't feel harmed
Don't feel harmed - and you haven't been
- Marcus Aurelius

p. 23 Just because your mind tells you that something is awful or evil or unplanned or otherwise negative doesn't mean you have to agree. Just because other people say that something is hopeless or crazy or broken to pieces doesn't mean it is. We decide what story to tell ourselves. Or whether we will tell one at all. 
Welcome to the power of perception. Applicable in each adn every situation, impossible to obstruct. It can only be relinquished.
And that is your decision.

Steady Your Nerves
Things will inevitably come along to distract you from your work and your goals. Don't let it happen.
The author had two great stories:
1: Ulysses S Grant once sat for a photo shoot with the famous Civil War photographer, Mathew Brady. The studio was too dark, so Brady sent an assistant up to the roof to uncover a skylight. The assistant slipped and shattered the window. With horror, the spectators watched as shards of glass, two inches long fell from the ceiling like daggers, crashing around Grant - each of them plenty lethal.
As the last pieces hit the ground, Brady looked over and saw that Grant hadn't moved. He was unhurt. Grant glanced up at the hole in the ceiling, then back at the camera as though nothing had happened at all.

2: During the Overland Campaign, Grant was surveying the scene through field glasses when an enemy shell exploded, killing the horse immediately next to him. Grant's eyes stayed fixed on the front, never leaving the glasses.

Practice Objectivity
p. 35 Take your situation and pretend it is not happening to you. Pretend it is not important, that it doesn't matter. How much easier would it be for you to know what to do? How much more quickly and dispassionately could you size up the scenario and its options?

Alter Your Perspective
p. 37 Remember: We choose how we'll look at things. We retain the ability to inject perspective into a situation. We can't change the obstacles themselves - that part of the equation is set - but the power of perspective can change how the obstacles appear.

Is It Up To You?
Think serenity prayer. What can you really change? The author lists what is up to us: (p. 43)
Our emotions
Our judgments
Our creativity
Our attitude
Our perspective
Our desires
Our decisions
Our determination
What is not up to us? Well, you know. everything else. The weather, the economy, circumstances, other people's emotions or judgments, trends, disasters, etc.

Live in the Present Moment

p. 47 Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.

I loved the list of companies started at inopportune times:

Fortune magazine (90 days after the market crash of 1929)
FedEx (oil crisis of 1973)
UPS (Panic of 1907)
Walt Disney Co (After 11 months of smooth operation, the 12th was the market crash of 1929)
Hewlett-Packard (Great Depression, 1935)
Charles Schwab (market crash of 1974-75)
Standard Oil (Rockefeller brought out his partners in what became Standard Oil and took over in Feb 1865, the final year of the Civil War)
Coors (Depression of 1873)
Costco (recession in the late 1970s)
Revlon (Great Depression, 1932)
General Motors (Panic of 1907)
Proctor and Gamble (Panic of 1837)
United Airlines (1929)
Microsoft (recession in 1973-75)
LinkedIn (2002, post-dot-com bubble)

Think Differently
Don't worry about what most people say. Most people say things like, Be realistic. Listen to feedback. Play well with others. Compromise.
Instead, the author suggests we should not be afraid. We can do it. Get your mind around it. Keep working! Do what most people won't do.

Finding the Opportunity
Look for the weak spot and capitalize! 
p. 55 There is good in everything, if only we look for it (Laura Ingalls Wilder)
If you mean it when you say you're at the endo f your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set. You can study this bad boss and learn from him - while you fill out your resume and hit up contacts for a better job elsewhere. You can prepare yourself for that job by trying new styles of communication or standing up for yourself, all with a perfect safety net for yourself: quitting and getting out of there.
With this new attitude and fearlessness, who knows, you might be able to extract concessions and find that you like the job again. One day your boss will make a mistake, and then you'll make your move and outmaneuver them. It will feel so much better than the alternative-whining, bad-mouthing, duplicity, spinelessness.

Prepare to Act
p. 60 ...boldness is acting anyway, even though you understand the negative and the reality of your obstacle. Decide to tackle what stands in your way - not because you're a gambler defying the odds but because you've calculated them and boldly embraced the risk.

Get Moving
Sometimes the situation isn't perfect...but if you at least get started, you can straighten up the situation or perhaps look for other opportunities. He told a great story of Amelia Earhart. She worked as a social worker at first because she couldn't make a living as a pilot. One day someone asked her if she would like to be the first female pilot on a transatlantic flight. They told her their first choice had already backed out and that she wouldn't actually fly because there would be two men (stronger and smarter) who would do that. They would be paid very well but she was paid nothing. It was considered a very dangerous venture and they could all die. Doesn't sound very appealing - but she took it. After that, she was able to work herself into a position where she could be the first female to fly solo across the Atlantic. It would have never happened if she hadn't taken the less than perfect opportunity. 

Practice Persistence
Never quit!
Consider this mind-set:
- never in a hurry
- never worried
- never desperate
- never stopping short
p. 80 It's supposed to be hard. Your first attempts aren't going to work. It's going to take a lot out of you - but energy is an asset we can always find more of. It's a renewable resource. Stop looking for an epiphany, and start looking for weak points. Stop looking for angels, and start looking for angles. There are options. Settle in for the long haul and then try each and every possibility, and you'll get there.
When people ask where we are, what we're doing, how that "situation" is coming along, the answer should be clear: We're working on it. We're getting closer. When setbacks come, we respond by working twice as hard.

Iterate
Great entrepreneurs are:
- never wedded to a position
- never afraid to lose a little of their investment
- never bitter of embarrassed
- never out of the game for long

p. 86 Failure gives you feedback - precise instructions on how to improve....it's trying to teach you something, Listen

Do your job well
p. 96 Steve Jobs cared even about the inside of his products, making sure they were beautifully designed even though the users would never see them. Taught by his father - who finished even the back of his cabinets though they would be hidden against the wall - to think like a craftsman. In every design predicament, Jobs knew his marching orders: Respect the craft and make something beautiful. 
  Every situation is different, obviously. We're not inventing the next iPad or iPhone, but we are making something for someone - even if it's just our own resume. Every part - especially the work that nobody sees, the tough things we wanted to avoid or could have skated away from - we can treat the same way Jobs did: with pride and dedication.

The Discipline of the Will
p. 132 These lessons come harder but are, in the end, the most critical to wresting advantage from adversity. In every situation we can
Always prepare ourselves for more difficult times.
Always accept what we're unable to change.
Always manage our expectations.
Always persevere.
Always learn to love our fate and what happens to us.
Always protect our inner self, retreat into ourselves.
Always submit to a greater, larger cause.
Always remind ourselves of our own mortality

Anticipation (Thinking Negatively)
p. 139 Plan for what could go wrong (do a premortem). Be prepared for failure and ready for success.

Love everything that happens
p. 150 At age sixty-seven, Thomas Edison returned home early one evening from another day at the laboratory. Shortly after dinner, a man came rushing into his house with urgent news: A fire had broken out at Edison's research and production campus a few miles away.
 Fire engines from eight nearby towns rushed to the scene, but they could not contain the blaze. Fueled by the strange chemicals in various buildings, green and yellow flames shot up six and seven stories, threatening to destroy the entire empire Edison had spent his life building.
 Edison calmly but quickly made his way to the fire, through the now hundreds of onlookers and devasted employees, looking for his son. "Go get your mother and all her friends," he told his son with childlike excitement. "They'll never see a fire like this again."

p. 151 Within about three weeks, the factory was partially back up and running. Within a month, its men were working two shifts a day churning out new products the world had never seen. Despite a lof of almost $1 million dollars (more than $23 million in today's dollars), Edison would marshal enough energy to make nearly $10 million dollars in revenue that year ($200-plus million today). He not only suffered a spectacular disaster, but he recovered and replied to it spectacularly.

p. 154 The goal is:
Not: I'm okay with this.
Not: I think I feel good about this.
But: I feel great about it.
Because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.

How Do You Spell Unfair? (Carole Boston Weatherford)

 

This story will be a great one to accompany our study of the story of Jackie Robinson. It's always shocking to read about the racism of the past. May it always stay in the past!

Goodreads says:

Family Picture Book Read-Aloud Afternoon: A Nine-Book Pile!

An interesting tidbit from history of the first Black American to make it to the final round of the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. in 1936 despite segregation and blatant racism.

I'm grateful for the introduction to MacNolia Cox, but the prose is a bit too flat for a picture book, reading more like a book report than a story. I also found it odd that everyone in the book got full names except for MacNolia's mother and teacher: Alberta Key and Cornelia Greve, respectively. And I would have liked to know more about the other Black girl, Elizabeth Kenney, who was in the contest with MacNolia and fared quite well also.

Hello, Star (Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic)

 

Definitely a book to save and read at the carpet....when we finally get a carpet back and can sit close together to read a story! 

“The girl felt her heart pinch at the idea of the star slowly losing its light all the way out there on its own.”


Goodreads says:

When a young girl learns that a bright light in the sky is coming from a dying star, she promises to keep it company until the light goes out. Every night the girl reassures her friend that she is still there.

As the years pass, the girl learns everything she can about planets, space, and the universe, inspired by her dimming friend—until she realizes she needs to do something more.

This touching tribute to stars, space, and science celebrates how a small act of compassion can flourish into a life full of meaning and wonder.