Paul the Peacock (Tilly Matthews)

 

Great friendship story! People matter more than stuff.

Goodreads says:

Paul has everything. He has the biggest nest, the most loyal friend, and of course, the most beautiful feathers in the forest. But as you can guess, he’s not the humblest of birds… In fact… Paul is a selfish, rude, and arrogant peacock who isn’t very nice to his friend Norris the Loris and the other animals in the forest. He’s pampered by everyone around him, and never has to shake a feather. Then, one evening, "after another long, tiring day of being perfect", there is a huge storm. Paul loses everything (including his precious feathers). He has to go on an adventure through the forest to try and retrieve his most prized possession. He sets off to find his feathers and ultimately discovers something even more important… This hilarious story with comic deadpan moments and vivid, expressive illustrations conveys an important message about kindness, friendship, and humility. Follow Paul as he’s brought down to earth from his treetop penthouse and learns to appreciate the friends he’s lucky to have around him. This is a fantastically funny fable that gently shows young readers how to be less materialistic, and more modest and mindful of other people’s feelings.

I Am A Thundercloud (Leah Moser)

 

Great for teaching kids how to move from one zone to another.

Goodreads says:

Big feelings are hard to manage, especially when you’re a small person trying to understand yourself and the world.  For those confusing stormy days, I Am a Thundercloud helps readers relate to their feelings through the sounds, sensations and colors of nature, making them feel comfortable and lighter.

Having emotions, even angry ones, is a part of being human. In Leah Moser’s I Am a Thundercloud a young child is having a bad day—they BOOM, ROAR, CRASH, and CRACKLE like an angry thundercloud. Tense body language, an inability to say the “right” words, the instinct to hide are like a brewing storm within the child. But like the sun breaking through, our protagonist processes big emotions by relaxing, asking for help, opening up, and pausing to permit themselves to breathe. This powerful picture book reminds us that having the ability to recognize how we are feeling not only increases our emotional intelligence and helps us process our own emotions, but it also allows us to recognize and empathize with others who are struggling with their emotions.

The Obstacle is the Way (Ryan Holiday)

 

I'm buying this one and putting it on my canon list...books to read at least annually. It is so good! I tire of people who tell you to just be positive. This book does that, but also has amazing examples and strategies along the way to help you with persistence. It took me a while to read it because I found myself wanting to record many of the great ideas an antidotes!

Notes:

p. 6 There is an old Zen story about a king whose people had grown soft and entitled. Dissatisfied with this state of affairs, he hoped to teach them a lesson. His plan was simple: He would place a large boulder in the middle of the main road, completely blocking entry into the city. He would then hide nearby and observe their reactions.
  How would they respond? Would they band together to remove it? Or would they get discouraged, quit and return home?
  With growing disappointment, the king watched as subject after subject came to this impediment and turned away. Or, at best, tried halfheartedly before giving up. Many openly complained or cursed the king or fortune or bemoaned the inconvenience, but none managed to do anything about it.
  After several days, a lone peasant came along on his way into town. He did not turn away. Instead he strained and strained, trying to push it out of the way. Then an idea came to him: He scrambled into a nearby woods to find something he could use for leverage. Finally, he returned with a large branch he had crafted into a lever and deployed it to dislodge the massive rock from the road. 
   Beneath the rock were a purse of gold coins and a note from the king, which said:
   "The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition."

p. 8 The things which hurt, instruct.
- Benjamin Franklin

p. 9 Three interdependent, interconnected, and the fluidly contingent disciplines: Perception, action and the will.

The Discipline of Perception

John D Rockefeller 
- bookkeeper and aspiring investor
- son of an alcoholic who'd abandoned his family
- took his first job at age 16 and earned fifty cents a day
- in financial crises he witnessed he had a sense of cool about him....he would observe how people were responding and then make his decisions
- once turned down $500,000 from investors who wanted him to find ways to invest it in oil. He had the strength to resist temptation or excitement

How to have his kind of success:
- be objective
- control emotions and keep an even keel
- choose to see the good in a situation
- keep nerves steady
- ignore what disturbs or limits others
- place things in perspective
- revert to the present moment
- focus on what CAN be controlled

Recognize Your Power

 Choose not to be harmed - and you won't feel harmed
Don't feel harmed - and you haven't been
- Marcus Aurelius

p. 23 Just because your mind tells you that something is awful or evil or unplanned or otherwise negative doesn't mean you have to agree. Just because other people say that something is hopeless or crazy or broken to pieces doesn't mean it is. We decide what story to tell ourselves. Or whether we will tell one at all. 
Welcome to the power of perception. Applicable in each adn every situation, impossible to obstruct. It can only be relinquished.
And that is your decision.

Steady Your Nerves
Things will inevitably come along to distract you from your work and your goals. Don't let it happen.
The author had two great stories:
1: Ulysses S Grant once sat for a photo shoot with the famous Civil War photographer, Mathew Brady. The studio was too dark, so Brady sent an assistant up to the roof to uncover a skylight. The assistant slipped and shattered the window. With horror, the spectators watched as shards of glass, two inches long fell from the ceiling like daggers, crashing around Grant - each of them plenty lethal.
As the last pieces hit the ground, Brady looked over and saw that Grant hadn't moved. He was unhurt. Grant glanced up at the hole in the ceiling, then back at the camera as though nothing had happened at all.

2: During the Overland Campaign, Grant was surveying the scene through field glasses when an enemy shell exploded, killing the horse immediately next to him. Grant's eyes stayed fixed on the front, never leaving the glasses.

Practice Objectivity
p. 35 Take your situation and pretend it is not happening to you. Pretend it is not important, that it doesn't matter. How much easier would it be for you to know what to do? How much more quickly and dispassionately could you size up the scenario and its options?

Alter Your Perspective
p. 37 Remember: We choose how we'll look at things. We retain the ability to inject perspective into a situation. We can't change the obstacles themselves - that part of the equation is set - but the power of perspective can change how the obstacles appear.

Is It Up To You?
Think serenity prayer. What can you really change? The author lists what is up to us: (p. 43)
Our emotions
Our judgments
Our creativity
Our attitude
Our perspective
Our desires
Our decisions
Our determination
What is not up to us? Well, you know. everything else. The weather, the economy, circumstances, other people's emotions or judgments, trends, disasters, etc.

Live in the Present Moment

p. 47 Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.

I loved the list of companies started at inopportune times:

Fortune magazine (90 days after the market crash of 1929)
FedEx (oil crisis of 1973)
UPS (Panic of 1907)
Walt Disney Co (After 11 months of smooth operation, the 12th was the market crash of 1929)
Hewlett-Packard (Great Depression, 1935)
Charles Schwab (market crash of 1974-75)
Standard Oil (Rockefeller brought out his partners in what became Standard Oil and took over in Feb 1865, the final year of the Civil War)
Coors (Depression of 1873)
Costco (recession in the late 1970s)
Revlon (Great Depression, 1932)
General Motors (Panic of 1907)
Proctor and Gamble (Panic of 1837)
United Airlines (1929)
Microsoft (recession in 1973-75)
LinkedIn (2002, post-dot-com bubble)

Think Differently
Don't worry about what most people say. Most people say things like, Be realistic. Listen to feedback. Play well with others. Compromise.
Instead, the author suggests we should not be afraid. We can do it. Get your mind around it. Keep working! Do what most people won't do.

Finding the Opportunity
Look for the weak spot and capitalize! 
p. 55 There is good in everything, if only we look for it (Laura Ingalls Wilder)
If you mean it when you say you're at the endo f your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set. You can study this bad boss and learn from him - while you fill out your resume and hit up contacts for a better job elsewhere. You can prepare yourself for that job by trying new styles of communication or standing up for yourself, all with a perfect safety net for yourself: quitting and getting out of there.
With this new attitude and fearlessness, who knows, you might be able to extract concessions and find that you like the job again. One day your boss will make a mistake, and then you'll make your move and outmaneuver them. It will feel so much better than the alternative-whining, bad-mouthing, duplicity, spinelessness.

Prepare to Act
p. 60 ...boldness is acting anyway, even though you understand the negative and the reality of your obstacle. Decide to tackle what stands in your way - not because you're a gambler defying the odds but because you've calculated them and boldly embraced the risk.

Get Moving
Sometimes the situation isn't perfect...but if you at least get started, you can straighten up the situation or perhaps look for other opportunities. He told a great story of Amelia Earhart. She worked as a social worker at first because she couldn't make a living as a pilot. One day someone asked her if she would like to be the first female pilot on a transatlantic flight. They told her their first choice had already backed out and that she wouldn't actually fly because there would be two men (stronger and smarter) who would do that. They would be paid very well but she was paid nothing. It was considered a very dangerous venture and they could all die. Doesn't sound very appealing - but she took it. After that, she was able to work herself into a position where she could be the first female to fly solo across the Atlantic. It would have never happened if she hadn't taken the less than perfect opportunity. 

Practice Persistence
Never quit!
Consider this mind-set:
- never in a hurry
- never worried
- never desperate
- never stopping short
p. 80 It's supposed to be hard. Your first attempts aren't going to work. It's going to take a lot out of you - but energy is an asset we can always find more of. It's a renewable resource. Stop looking for an epiphany, and start looking for weak points. Stop looking for angels, and start looking for angles. There are options. Settle in for the long haul and then try each and every possibility, and you'll get there.
When people ask where we are, what we're doing, how that "situation" is coming along, the answer should be clear: We're working on it. We're getting closer. When setbacks come, we respond by working twice as hard.

Iterate
Great entrepreneurs are:
- never wedded to a position
- never afraid to lose a little of their investment
- never bitter of embarrassed
- never out of the game for long

p. 86 Failure gives you feedback - precise instructions on how to improve....it's trying to teach you something, Listen

Do your job well
p. 96 Steve Jobs cared even about the inside of his products, making sure they were beautifully designed even though the users would never see them. Taught by his father - who finished even the back of his cabinets though they would be hidden against the wall - to think like a craftsman. In every design predicament, Jobs knew his marching orders: Respect the craft and make something beautiful. 
  Every situation is different, obviously. We're not inventing the next iPad or iPhone, but we are making something for someone - even if it's just our own resume. Every part - especially the work that nobody sees, the tough things we wanted to avoid or could have skated away from - we can treat the same way Jobs did: with pride and dedication.

The Discipline of the Will
p. 132 These lessons come harder but are, in the end, the most critical to wresting advantage from adversity. In every situation we can
Always prepare ourselves for more difficult times.
Always accept what we're unable to change.
Always manage our expectations.
Always persevere.
Always learn to love our fate and what happens to us.
Always protect our inner self, retreat into ourselves.
Always submit to a greater, larger cause.
Always remind ourselves of our own mortality

Anticipation (Thinking Negatively)
p. 139 Plan for what could go wrong (do a premortem). Be prepared for failure and ready for success.

Love everything that happens
p. 150 At age sixty-seven, Thomas Edison returned home early one evening from another day at the laboratory. Shortly after dinner, a man came rushing into his house with urgent news: A fire had broken out at Edison's research and production campus a few miles away.
 Fire engines from eight nearby towns rushed to the scene, but they could not contain the blaze. Fueled by the strange chemicals in various buildings, green and yellow flames shot up six and seven stories, threatening to destroy the entire empire Edison had spent his life building.
 Edison calmly but quickly made his way to the fire, through the now hundreds of onlookers and devasted employees, looking for his son. "Go get your mother and all her friends," he told his son with childlike excitement. "They'll never see a fire like this again."

p. 151 Within about three weeks, the factory was partially back up and running. Within a month, its men were working two shifts a day churning out new products the world had never seen. Despite a lof of almost $1 million dollars (more than $23 million in today's dollars), Edison would marshal enough energy to make nearly $10 million dollars in revenue that year ($200-plus million today). He not only suffered a spectacular disaster, but he recovered and replied to it spectacularly.

p. 154 The goal is:
Not: I'm okay with this.
Not: I think I feel good about this.
But: I feel great about it.
Because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.

Stolen Focus (Johann Hari)

 

This is a great book. The author did a great job of researching and sharing the research many have worked on with focus. I will definitely implement some of his suggestions.

1. Stop multitasking. It doesn't work. Switching from one task to another takes much longer for our brain to reconfigure than we realize.

2. Read more books. I probably didn't need to read this to make that goal - but he certainly does make a good argument for why this is so important. Comprehension, focus and empathy are what we lose when we don't read.  I can resolve to take more time with a book though. Speed-reading is a detriment to comprehension and causes us to miss something.

3. Walk more...and without a podcast or book playing in headphones. Taking time to wander and to let our minds wander is key to creativity. He also has a really good argument for more unstructured play time and recess. I will definitely make sure there are more movement breaks and that everyone gets out for recess in my class.

4. Try to understand. Have conversations with people who believe totally different than you and try to really understand their perspective on an issue.

5. Limit Social Media and take big breaks from it. I've often heard people, especially church leaders in our church, tell us to do a social media fast. I've never been a big fan because so much communication happens in my circles with social media. His explanation of data tracking, AI and more was the most convincing thing I've read. He tells a really interesting story about a conversation with a scientist who shared with him about seeing a room full of people all wearing VR headsets....all but Mark Zuckerberg (who was at the front of the room speaking to the group). He said this is a metaphor for our future. We are being led, tracked and manipulated by social media. 

One part I wasn't sold on was his chapters on ADHD. He summarizes that the reason children have ADHD is because of stress imposed upon them in certain periods of life.

Some of my favorite take-aways:

Anne Mangan, a professor of literacy at the University of Stavanger in Norway, explained to me that in two decades of researching this subject, she has proved something crucial. Reading books trains us to read in a particular way - in a linear fashion, focused on one thing for a sustained period. Reading from screens, she has discovered, trains us to read in a different way - in a manic skip and jump from one thing to another...this [reading on screens] creates a different relationship with reading. It stops being a form of pleasurable immersion in another world and becomes more like dashing around a busy supermarket to grab what you need and then get out again. When this flip takes place - when our screen reading contaminates our book-reading - we lose some of the pleasures of reading books themselves  and they become less appealing.

It has other knock-on effects. Anne has conducted studies that split people into two groups, where one is given information in a printed book and the other is given the same information on a screen. Everyone is then asked questions about what they just read. When you do this, you find that people understand and remember less of what they absorb on screens. There's broad scientific evidence for this now, emerging from fifty-four studies, and she explained that it's referred to as "screen inferiority". This gap in understanding between books and screens is big enough that in elementary school children, it's the equivalent of two-thirds of a year's growth in reading comprehension. 

 --

When you read a novel, you are immersing yourself in what it's like to be inside another person's head. You are simulating a social situation. You are imagining other people and their experiences in a deep and complex way. So maybe, he said, if you read a lot of novels, you will become better at actually understanding other people off the page. Perhaps fiction is a kind of empathy gym, boosting your ability to empathize with other people - which is one of the most rich and precious forms of focus we have. Together, they decided to study this question scientifically.

--

We internalize the texture of the voices we're exposed to. When you expose yourself to complex stories about the inter lives of people over long periods of time, that will repattern your consciousness. You will become more perceptive, open, and empathetic. If, by contrast, you expose yourself for hours a day to the disconnected fragments of shrieking and fury that dominate social media, your thoughts will start to be shaped like that. Your internal voices will become cruder, louder, less able to hear more tender and gentle thoughts. Take care of what technologies you use, because your consciousness will, over time, come to be shaped like those technologies.

-- 

If enough people are spending enough of their time being angered, that starts to change the culture, ....it "turns hate into a habit." You can see this seeping into the bones of our society. When I was a teenager there was horrific crime in Britain, where two ten-year-old children murdered a toddler named Jamie Bulger. The Conservative prime minister at the time, John Major, responded by publicly saying that he believed we need "to condemn a little more, and understand a little less." I remembered thinking then, at the age of fourteen, that this was surely wrong - that' it's always better to understand why people do things, even (perhaps especially) the most heinous acts. But today, this attitude - condemn more, understand less - has become the default response to almost everyone, from the right to the left, as we spend our lives dancing to the tune of algorithms that reward fury and penalize mercy.

 --

The country that is often judged by international league tables to have the most successful schools in the world, Finland, is closer to these progressive models than anything we would recognize. Their children don't go to school at all until they are seven years old - before then, they just play. Between the ages of seven and sixteen, kids arrive at school at 9 am and leave at 2 pm. They are given almost no homework, and they take almost no tests until they graduate from high school. Free play is at the beating heart of Finnish kids' lives: by law, teachers have to give kids fifteen minutes of free play for every forty-five minutes of instructions. What's the outcome? Only 0.1 percent of their kids are diagnosed with attention problems, and Finns are among the most literate, numerate and happy people in the world.

Goodreads says:
Our ability to pay attention is collapsing. From the New York Times bestselling author of Chasing the Scream and Lost Connections comes a groundbreaking examination of why this is happening--and how to get our attention back.

In the United States, teenagers can focus on one task for only sixty-five seconds at a time, and office workers average only three minutes. Like so many of us, Johann Hari was finding that constantly switching from device to device and tab to tab was a diminishing and depressing way to live. He tried all sorts of self-help solutions--even abandoning his phone for three months--but nothing seemed to work. So Hari went on an epic journey across the world to interview the leading experts on human attention--and he discovered that everything we think we know about this crisis is wrong.

We think our inability to focus is a personal failure to exert enough willpower over our devices. The truth is even more disturbing: our focus has been stolen by powerful external forces that have left us uniquely vulnerable to corporations determined to raid our attention for profit. Hari found that there are twelve deep causes of this crisis, from the decline of mind-wandering to rising pollution, all of which have robbed some of our attention. In Stolen Focus, he introduces readers to Silicon Valley dissidents who learned to hack human attention, and veterinarians who diagnose dogs with ADHD. He explores a favela in Rio de Janeiro where everyone lost their attention in a particularly surreal way, and an office in New Zealand that discovered a remarkable technique to restore workers' productivity.

Crucially, Hari learned how we can reclaim our focus--as individuals, and as a society--if we are determined to fight for it. Stolen Focus will transform the debate about attention and finally show us how to get it back.

A Box of Butterflies (Jo Rooks)

 

Talking about emotions can be tricky. The idea of having a child teach a robot is actually brilliant. Simple definitions and explanations are required and that works well for children. 

Goodreads says:

With colorful metaphors and vibrant imagery, A Box of Butterflies takes the reader on a journey of self-discovery and emotional reflection, identifying not just love, but jealousy, anger, worry, and a host of other emotions.

When Ruby asks Robot if he loved the story as much as she did, he tells her that he doesn’t know what love is. If it’s not something he can see, then what could it be?

Ruby describes emotions to her Robot. She teaches him what each feels like (“love feels like a box of butterflies!”) and when she feels them (“I sometimes feel that way when I’m told no more TV!”). 

Included is a Note to Parents and Caregivers by Elizabeth McCallum, PhD, that further explores the importance of learning about emotions.

​ "I love that story," said Ruby. "Did you love it too?"
"Robot is just a machine. Robot cannot feel love."
Robot paused for a moment and said, " What does love feel like?"