The Wrong Way Home (Kate O'Shaughnessy)

 

It's so weird how themes show up in my reading. I got this book out of the library at the beginning of summer. I think it was because it was a Newberry Honor Award winner. I didn't read it right away, let it auto-renew. The last book I read was Cultish - and then I picked this one up....about a young girl who has escaped from a cult. 

I thought it was well written. I loved the metaphors: They go to a place called the Lighthouse Motel - a lighthouse, a place that helps guide ships away from the dangerous shore. She's being guided along but doesn't necessarily buy into her mom's decisions - instead, wants to return to the cult. The whole story is a race between her figuring out how to get in touch with the cult leader to try to return and realizing the truth of the situation. 

She does come to a slow realization of important things she has missed out on while being away from society for six years. She is really behind in school, doesn't know some of the foundational concepts that are regularly talked about, doesn't know about modern medicine, has never been around anyone different than herself (her mom's godmother is gay and has lost her wife and the librarian she meets in gender neutral). Some of the reviews I read were upset that there were gay and gender neutral characters in the book. I thought the author did a pretty good job of including some of the things she would have never been exposed to. 

I really enjoyed this read. I think it would be more appropriate for middle school. Cults are a big topic for anyone younger. I think it would be interesting to see what kids think of the mother not being totally upfront with her daughter about all the issues around why they left.

Notes:

p. 11: Standard cult leader talk (discipline then love bomb): You have so much potential, Fern. Do you know that? It's deep inside, but it's there. You walk through the world so small, shoulders rounded, eyes down. That's why I was hard on your before. With your sweater. Because you're like me. I can see it. Inside you're strong. Destined for greatness. You have a quiet strength, a quiet power. We just need to break the shell. 

p. 82 Just like most kids, Fern isn't fazed at all that Birdie and Babs are a gay couple: She and her wife, Birdie, were my godparents." Mom pauses for a moment. "Well, are my godparents. At least Babs still is. Birdie passed away a while ago."

"Oh," I say. I try to take in all this new information. "What's a godparent?"

p. 193 Fern is confused by the librarian's appearance:
But now that I'm standing closer, I'm not actually sure if Wren is a she or a he. I mean to ask for some book suggestions, but instead a different question slips out.

"Sorry, are you a girl or a boy?"

The librarian - Wren - raises an eyebrow. The left one. The one with two silver hoops threaded through it. "And how, pray tell, is that any of your business?"

The librarian is angry. Or annoyed. It must have been a rude question. On the Ranch, there are more women than men, and all the women keep their hair long and the men grow out their beards, so it's easy to tell everyone apart, even when they wear the same kind of clothes. That's the way Dr. Ben likes it. The rules are so different out here.
"I'm sorry. I'm ignorant," I say, using Havana's word. "It means I don't know a lot of things."
The librarian's face softens. "Hey, it's okay. Neither do a lot of people."
And then Wren goes on to explain they go by "they", not "he" or "she". That is a gender-neutral pronoun because they identify as gender-fluid. "There are two boxes society tries to put you in when it comes to gender, and I don't fit in either one. A lot of people don't."
I'm surprised we haven't heard more about this on the Ranch. Dr. Ben is always telling us we should write our own rules, especially when it comes to thinks society tells us.
"I didn't know you could do that," I say. "It makes a lot of sense. Thank you for explaining it to me."
That seems to be the right thing to say, because now Wren is grinning at me. "It's funny. Kids seem to grasp this concept a lot faster than adults....."

Later in the book Birdie and Wren are mentioned again to say that they're dating.

p. 220 Metaphor of home:  Fern and Eddie are trying to prove that the ghost, The Spirit of the Sea, doesn't exist. One night they see it though.  Fern is quite convinced by what she sees that maybe the ghost IS real, however, Eddie, who has more experience in the world, rejects that this could be real. She hypothesizes that it is someone playing a trick:

Looking with my naked eye from down here, on the beach, all I can see if that bobbing, wavering light. It flickers in and out. I imagine hundreds of years of sailors, lost at sea. I think of Birdie. And I like the idea that there will always be someone - a ghost of someone = beckoning them home no matter how far they've drifted.

p. 223 I know Eddie and I are trying to prove the opposite- that the Spirit of the Sea is a big fake, an imposter.

But I'm exactly like those people the article is talking about. All I want is to find my way back to the people I love.

I wish there was a light for me in the darkness. Held up by someone who wanted to help me. A light to guide me home.

Goodreads says:

Twelve-year-old Fern believes she's living a noble life--but what if everything she's been told is a lie?

Fern’s lived at the Ranch, an off-the-grid, sustainable community in upstate New York, since she was six. The work is hard, but Fern admires the Ranch's leader, Dr. Ben. So when Fern’s mother sneaks them away in the middle of the night and says Dr. Ben is dangerous, Fern doesn't believe it. She wants desperately to go back, but her mom just keeps driving.

Suddenly Fern is thrust into the treacherous, toxic, outside world. At first she thinks only about how to get home. She has a plan, but it will take time. As that time goes by, though, Fern realizes there are things she will miss from this place—the library, a friend from school, the ocean—and there are things she learned at the Ranch that are just...not true.

Now Fern will have to decide. How much is she willing to give up to return to the Ranch? Should she trust Dr. Ben’s vision for her life? Or listen to the growing feeling that she can live by her own rules?

Mind Over Grind (Guy Winch)

 

This was good. After watching a couple of his TED talks, I liked him even more. He has some good tips in this book. I think he should do teachers next. So much of teacher's work, to me, is much more complicated than he got into here. Or maybe I'm just too self-absorbed. I don't know. A couple of his tips that I could really implement right away are changing my clothes when I get home to get a real sense of 'work is finished' and leaving work sooner.

Goodreads says:

Clinical psychologist, TED Speaker, and author of Emotional First Aid offers a guide to combating the many stresses modern work imposes, based on recent research and the stories of patients Winch has helped to thrive after burnout.

Whether we like it or not, work is central to our lives. Most of us define ourselves by our work; it gives us a purpose, it enables us to maintain our lives, our homes, our nourishment, our recreational pursuits, and it puts us often among like-minded people who share and appreciate our skills and achievements. No wonder we feel it is so important. But the dark side is that it intrudes on our lives and unconsciously takes over our thoughts, our priorities, and even our coping mechanisms. Especially in recent years, the separation between work and home is blurrier than ever, and we struggle to maintain healthy boundaries, to restore ourselves and recover our attention and energy, to give due focus to our loved ones, and to nourish other essential aspects of our self.

In Mind Over Grind, Guy Winch explains how our enmeshment with work reinforces these unconscious tendencies and reveals to the damage they do to our careers and personal lives, as well as to our emotional health. He argues that attaining a work-life balance involves changing not just what you do in your free time but how you think. And he offers clear, cogent strategies we can use to regain control, change the way we think, bring intentionality back to our lives, and restore the balance we crave.

Starbird (Sharon King-Chai)

 

Lesson: We cannot keep beautiful things caged up for ourselves. The beauty is in their freedom.

The illustrations are beautiful! Kids will love the shiny parts of the pages.

#freeBrittany style story?

Goodreads says:

A stunning gift to treasure from the astonishingly talented illustrator of Animalphabet by Julia Donaldson.

Starbird is an original fable about freedom and love. This unique book shimmers with shiny silver foil throughout its pages, and Sharon King-Chai's intricate illustrations of plants and animals are utterly beautiful.

Starbird's songs weave the richest dreams and delight all who hear him, but when the Moon King traps him in a cage, the colour and life in his voice begin to drip away. What follows is a story with the feel of a timeless myth, with the message that that captivity dims even the brightest star.

A heartfelt, lyrical story, and an exquisite gift for any child or adult.

About the Author

Sharon King-Chai is an enormously talented designer, illustrator and writer. Having grown up in Australia, she moved to London in 2003 and since then has brought her style and eye for beautiful design to album artwork, book covers, stationery and her own books Lucy Ladybird, Snail Mail and Animalphabet , a collaboration with Julia Donaldson. Sharon has a passion for innovation, and her artwork and clever use of paper cutting and finishes encourage the reader to think differently about the pages they hold in their hands.