How To Hug a Porcupine (Dr. John Lewis Lund)

I used to read a lot of "self-help" type books and for some reason I stopped. This book has been such a great experience for me that I have resolved that I will get back to reading them more often.

How To Hug a Porcupine really helped me to understand why some relationships with people dear to me are so difficult, and that I cannot fix them. Hopefully they will be able to fix them. This book could really help with the challenges. If nothing else, it has really helped me understand. It also really helped me with some ideas for how to respond to people who are uncomfortably critical (well, is there any kind of comfortable criticism??)

The epilogue really sums things up well:

The ultimate objective is for each of us to become our healthiest and best selves. This means that we cannot allow others to take us down. We live in a world of confused human beings. Unhealthy people surround us at time. We are left with making the best out of a difficult circumstance or relationship.

Recognizing destructive traits and labeling them for what they are helps us to accept reality and avoid denial. We must protect ourselves from toxic interactions and from toxic personalities. Standing up for ourselves is vital. Setting perimeters of what we will or will not permit as appropriate behavior establishes a boundary for a healthier relationship. Overcoming fear, doubt, and insecurity begins with a sincere determination to become our healthiest and best selves. All other decisions must be made in light of appropriate self-concern.

We will be held hostage by that which we fear the most. If it is divorce or abandonment, we must place being a healthy person above those fears. If what we fear is physical abuse, there are places to go and people who will help. Start by calling 911.

In a relationship where verbal and emotional abuse are present, the suggestions in this book will help. However, all the knowledge in the world cannot replace the need for us to act. Willingness does not come in a book. It comes from within each person.

It is my earnest desire each of us will find the strength to become our highest and best selves.

Sometimes that is the hard part. Reading the book is easy - well, sometimes it's easy. I found I drank this book up rather quickly - but sometimes I would have to stop and just let everything settle in my mind before I could go on with another chapter.

It's definitely a book worth reading. I'm thinking it's worth reading on an annual basis. I borrowed this from my friend, Patti. I am going to have to find myself a copy!