Brought to Kenya from England as a child and then abandoned by her mother, Beryl Markham is raised by both her father and the native Kipsigis tribe who share his estate. Her unconventional upbringing transforms Beryl into a bold young woman with a fierce love of all things wild and an inherent understanding of nature’s delicate balance. But even the wild child must grow up, and when everything Beryl knows and trusts dissolves, she is catapulted into a string of disastrous relationships. Beryl forges her own path as a horse trainer, and her uncommon style attracts the eye of the Happy Valley set, a decadent, bohemian community of European expats who also live and love by their own set of rules. But it’s the ruggedly charismatic Denys Finch Hatton who ultimately helps Beryl navigate the uncharted territory of her own heart. The intensity of their love reveals Beryl’s truest self and her fate: to fly.
My review:
I read this book for book club and didn't realize at first that it was a true story. That explained all the long detail about relationships with this person and that person that went nowhere. I was inspired by her ability to keep going despite seeming to have everything against her. She was abandoned by her mother at age 4 (bizarre turn of events) and raised by her father in Africa (Mom got tired of the African life). She rubbed shoulders with the richest of the rich, and went in cycles from poverty to great success.
Memorable quotes:
p. 132 The more things change the more they stay the same:
"There are some women who'd be expecting a fellow to step up and get serious at some point."
"I that what you're worried about? I can't seem to get rid of teh husband I've got, and anyway, what I'd realy like to know is how it feels to be on my own. Not someone's daughter or wife, I mean...but my own person."
"Oh." It seemed I'd surprised him. "There isn't a lot of that kind of thinking around here."
"Of course there is," I told him, trying to draw a smile. "It's just usually a man who's doing it."
p. 167 Clara's mother to Beryl, after returning to Africa when Beryl was an adult:
"Harry was the joy of my life." Clara's mouth trembled. Her eyes silvered with tears. "You've no idea how hard it's been, wit hthe debts and the uncertainty. And now I'm alone again."
*blink*blink* This coming from a mother who abandoned her daughter. Bizarre.
p. 171 More on Beryl's fragile mother (and who is the total opposite of Beryl):
"I really am sorry for your trouble, "Karen said again and again.
"It's not your fault," Clara assured her, gathering damp bits of her hair into hairpins. But something in her tone told me she did hold Karen responsible - or perhaps me instead. I suppose it wasn't a great surprise to see she had very little gumption or resilience, and yet it made me sad for her. How dreadful it would be if everything toppled you and you folded in. Rain, for instance, not to mention the loss of a husband. She was s pitiful I shouldn't have been irritated with her, but I couldn't help it. By dinnertime, I was too fed up with the whole situation and bolded for Soysambu and my horses - for work, which was never mysterious and never failed to soothe me.
p. 204: This reminded me of the Bible story of the woman caught in adultery. It is after a terrible confrontation with her first husband:
He shrugged. "We're all very liberal until something shines a light on us. Somehow everyone undertands a husband's jealous raging more than a wife's.....indiscretions. It's not fair, but what is?"
p. 302 On society's expectations of women (which Beryl was never very good at meeting):
"Surely you'll stop riding....at least until the aby is born. You have to take care of yourself."
"This is how I take care of myself, don't you see? If we have this baby, I'll need to do my work just as before. I don't know any other way to live."
p. 307 On their impending family:
My body would transform first, and then everything else would follow. I still cared for Mansfield, but I also felt as if I'd boarded a train meant for one place and was no irrevocably going somewhere else entirely. The whole situation made me feel desperate.
p 308 Is this why people have affairs?
....I felt a surge of guilt and awareness. I wasn't trying to toy with Mansfield exactly, but I had been flirting with the princes. In a way, I couldn't help myself. It felt marvelous to smile and make Harry smile, too, or to walk off in a particular way and know that David's eyes were on me. It was childish, and also futile, but for those moments, I believe I was free-spirited and alluring again, as if I still had some measure of control in the world.
p. 341 On knowing when it's time to move on:
"Who has the privilege of knowing what's possible, or the burden, for that matter? I can tell you, though, that I never thought I could leave. I think that's what the dreams mean. I'm not leaving Africa, but slowly, ever so slowly, Africa has begun to seep out of me.
p. 346 When two women love the same man (but actually, neither ever really had him in this case) and how death seals some things that actually never were:
During the brief service, Karen's head sagged to her chest, and I felt a strong urge to go to her. I was the one person there who knew precisely what she'd lost in Denys; she was the only one who could have understood the weight and colour of my sorrow, too. But a shift had taken place, and it held me back. She was his publicly acknowledged widow now. The gods may have stolen him from her, but with his death, she had won him back. No one could challenge their bond, or doubt how she loved him. Or how truly he'd been hers. One day she was going to write about him-write him in such a way that would sela the two of them together forever. And from those pages, I would be absent.
p. 347 Is this the reason for the title? (I really couldn't figure the title out):
We had both tried for the sun, and had fallen, lurching to earth again, tasting melted wax and sorrow. Denys wasn't hers or mine.
He belonged to no one and never had.
