When The Body Says No (Gabor Mate)

 

I'm sure there are many scientists who'd poo poo this book. However, there's got to be something to the peace that comes from therapy, from meditation and from good boundaries. This book has been talked about a lot on the podcast, The Virtual Couch. There's something about acceptance and commitment therapy, I'm sure of it! 

The last chapter is the most important one. It lists keys to good health. I listened to this book though and so I couldn't write while I was driving. LOL I found a good summary of the points on the FourMinuteBooks.com: 

1. When you’re stressed, every system in your body goes on alert in response to a perceived threat.
2. Your body attacks itself when you’re overwhelmed.
3. Negative thinking can help you beat stress. 

Lesson 1: Stress happens when your body perceives a threat, and it affects every system in your body.

Many of us experience stress for a myriad of reasons. We all have the same basic processing system, but what makes a stressor for someone is very individual. For instance, losing a job can be an extremely stressful situation for a person living paycheck-to-paycheck, but for a person with a large amount of savings, maybe it’s not so much. However, at the end of the day, most types of stress are the result of a perceived threat to our survival in some way or another. 

The impacts of stress are felt across many parts of the body, some of which you might not even be aware of. The main places it affects are your hormones, immune system, and digestive system. When you perceive an imminent threat, a series of hormones stimulates the release of the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol acts on almost every single system in your body. It gets your heart beating faster, takes blood from your organs to your muscles, and suppresses your immune system. All of this is to make sure you react better to the threat at hand. It’s a useful system in real, short-term threats. But if you have cortisol chronically it can destroy tissue, damage the heart, and raise your blood pressure. 

One study examining the effects of chronic stress on immune cells called natural killer cells found that those experiencing chronic stress had significantly suppressed natural killer cells. These have the essential ability to destroy malignant cells such as cancer. Additionally, wounds on a chronically stressed person took an average of nine days longer to heal than the control group.

Lesson 2: When you get overwhelmed, your body begins to attack itself.

Our immune system needs to be kept at a specific balance, and it’s easy for things to go wrong if things are off. Stress can cause your immune system to start harming the tissues it is supposed to defend. This can actually lead to the diagnosis of autoimmune diseases in some cases. Autoimmune diseases happen when the immune system mistakenly attacks the body and damages connective tissue, joints, and organs. 

There are many things that can cause autoimmunity, but one thing in common with many autoimmune disorder sufferers is they struggle with boundaries. They tend to repress their own needs and put others first. The stress of this emotional repression results in problems with the immune system, which starts to struggle to know which cells to attack and which to leave alone. 

In a study, scientists look at healthy relatives of women who had rheumatoid arthritis. Fourteen out of 46 tested positive for RA antibodies. This group scored much higher than RA antibody-negative participants on psychological scales showing the level of anger inhibition and concern about the acceptability of social behaviors. This suggested that emotional repression resulted in immune reactivity in these women.

Lesson 3: You can beat stress with negative thinking.

After learning how harmful stress is you may be wondering what you can do about it. Mate teaches we can overcome stress through negative thinking. When he was a palliative caregiver, the author came across many people who didn’t understand why it was they who got cancer. One person wondered why this could happen when he’d always been so positive and not given into pessimistic thoughts. 

The truth is, being positive all the time actually isn’t very good for you. Positive emotions increase well-being but being constantly positive actually can turn into a harmful coping mechanism. When you ignore your negative emotions, it increases stress, and we know this makes you more prone to disease. 

So instead, it’s okay to indulge in negative thinking sometimes. We don’t have to be constantly pessimistic, but it’s healthy to embrace all of reality, including the bad. This helps us find a way to fix what’s wrong rather than ignoring it. 

A study found that melanoma patients who tended to suppress emotions had a higher likelihood of relapse and death. On the other hand, another study found those who resigned to their illness and had a harder time coping were actually less likely to relapse. Many of us react to illness by denying it or minimizing it. But science shows being “tough” isn’t what we need. 

Goodreads says:

In this accessible and groundbreaking book--filled with the moving stories of real people--medical doctor and bestselling author Gabor Maté shows that emotion and psychological stress play a powerful role in the onset of chronic illness, including breast cancer, prostate cancer, multiple sclerosis and many others, even Alzheimer's disease.

When the Body Says No is an impressive contribution to research on the physiological connection between life's stresses and emotions and the body systems governing nerves, immune apparatus and hormones. With great compassion and erudition, Gabor Maté demystifies medical science and, as he did in Scattered Minds, invites us all to be our own health advocates.

Look Both Ways (Jason Reynolds)

 

I read this book for my Children's Literature book club. I don't read short stories very often. This one seemed to be full of great fodder for discussion. It's one of those books that makes me wish I taught older kids. When I was reading it, I told a lot of people about it and it was fascinating that they had never heard of it as it has won a number of awards. They were all very curious about the stories though. There are lots of surprises in the stories which can serve to remind you to be more compassionate towards kids and the challenges they face. Challenges ran the gamut: cancer, bullying, phobias, tragedies like your mother being hit by a bus, your sister dying, and more. My favourite one was where the kids were making money to buy ice-cream. My brother just died of cancer and that one got me right in the gut.

Every chapter mentions a bus falling from the sky. The symbolism of that was brought out in the very last story with all the things a bus is. 

I think I'd enjoy more by this author.


Goodreads says:

From National Book Award finalist and New York Times bestselling author Jason Reynolds comes a novel told in ten blocks, showing all the different directions a walk home can take.

This story was going to begin like all the best stories. With a school bus falling from the sky. But no one saw it happen. They were all too busy—

Talking about boogers.
Stealing pocket change.
Skateboarding.
Wiping out.
Braving up.
Executing complicated handshakes.
Planning an escape.
Making jokes.
Lotioning up.
Finding comfort.
But mostly, too busy walking home.

Jason Reynolds conjures ten tales (one per block) about what happens after the dismissal bell rings, and brilliantly weaves them into one wickedly funny, piercingly poignant look at the detours we face on the walk home, and in life. 

What Happened To You? (Oprah Winfrey and

 

 I listened to the audio book. It's mostly Bruce Perry but now and then Oprah interjects and asks questions as if she is interviewing him. Bruce Perry apparently has done a lot of work for her and with her with different people. One significant group was girls at the school Oprah started in Africa. He has also worked with children who survived cults as well as many other extremely traumatized individuals. It's clear he knows what he's talking about.

The gist of the book seems to be that we shouldn't be asking what is wrong with you, but instead, what happened to you. This brings about more understanding and compassion and leads to healing. 

My favorite part was the last chapter where Oprah shared her story and talked about how what happened to you can lead to your super power. Earlier in the book they had talked about how all super hero stories begin with a crisis. They become super heroes through an accidental tragedy. It's good to think of our trauma as something that can create greatness in us.

Goodreads says:

"Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”
―Oprah Winfrey

This book is going to change the way you see your life.

Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.

Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand.

Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. Joining forces with Dr. Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood and brain development, Winfrey and Dr. Perry marry the power of storytelling with science to better understand and overcome the effects of our pasts.

In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future―opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

3rd Grade Angels

 

We read this aloud last year in my classroom but I just realized I did not blog about it. It was the first read aloud for this year and was a big hit. The kids seem to connect well to it, it has a good message and just the right amount of funny stuff to keep everyone hooked. 

Turns out Jerry Spinelli actually wrote 4th Grade Rats first and later wrote this as a prequel.

Goodreads says:

The long-awaited prequel to the bestseller FOURTH GRADE RATS

George, aka "Suds," has just entered third grade, and he's heard the rhyme about "first grade babies/second grade cats/third grade angels/fourth grade rats," but what does this mean for his school year? It means that his teacher, Mrs. Simms, will hold a competition every month to see which student deserves to be awarded "the halo" - which student is best-behaved, kindest to others, and, in short, perfect. Suds is determined to be the first to earn the halo, but he's finding the challenge of always being good to be more stressful than he had anticipated. Does he have to be good even outside of school? (Does he have to be nice to his annoying little sister?) And if Mrs. Simms doesn't actually see him doing a good deed, does it even count?

A warm, funny return to elementary school from master storyteller Spinelli.

Before We Were Yours (Lisa Wingate)

 

I really enjoyed this story. It bounces between the present and the past and I found myself engrossed in each of the stories and then eager to get back to the other one as it came up. I read this book for my book club and everyone seemed to enjoy it. 

Before We Were Yours also has a non-fiction companion book of sorts. It is called Before and After: The Incredible Real-Life Stories of Orphans Who Survived the Tennessee Children's Home Society.

Before andGoodreads says:

Memphis, 1939. Twelve-year-old Rill Foss and her four younger siblings live a magical life aboard their family’s Mississippi River shantyboat. But when their father must rush their mother to the hospital one stormy night, Rill is left in charge—until strangers arrive in force. Wrenched from all that is familiar and thrown into a Tennessee Children’s Home Society orphanage, the Foss children are assured that they will soon be returned to their parents—but they quickly realize the dark truth. At the mercy of the facility’s cruel director, Rill fights to keep her sisters and brother together in a world of danger and uncertainty.

Aiken, South Carolina, present day. Born into wealth and privilege, Avery Stafford seems to have it all: a successful career as a federal prosecutor, a handsome fiancé, and a lavish wedding on the horizon. But when Avery returns home to help her father weather a health crisis, a chance encounter leaves her with uncomfortable questions and compels her to take a journey through her family’s long-hidden history, on a path that will ultimately lead either to devastation or to redemption.

Based on one of America’s most notorious real-life scandals—in which Georgia Tann, director of a Memphis-based adoption organization, kidnapped and sold poor children to wealthy families all over the country—Lisa Wingate’s riveting, wrenching, and ultimately uplifting tale reminds us how, even though the paths we take can lead to many places, the heart never forgets where we belong. 

I Am A Wolf (Kelly Leigh Miller)

 

Super simple quick read, but a great message on imagination, friendship and family. Great story when time is short but you need to read a story.

Goodreads says:

A dog who insists she's a wolf finds the perfect home with a young girl who sees past her prickly personality in this pet adoption story that's as laugh-out-loud funny as it is heart-tugging.

When a particularly growly pup finds herself in an animal shelter, she insists that she is a wolf--a lone wolf. After all, she's not sweet, she's not cute, and she is just fine on her own! Luckily, there's one little girl at the shelter who knows that sometimes, good dogs act bad when they feel afraid and that extending a little kindness can help even the most wolfish pup at the pound let down her guard.

Little Fox and the Wild Imagination (Jorma Taccone and Dan Santat)

 

Pure Dan Santat craziness. Love it!

Super cute representation of the value of imagination. 
My favorite part is where they have to read all the books (5000!) before bed. 

Goodreads says:

BEWARE!

This is a tale of great caution, terror, and destruction . . .

of bath time, and bedtime, and the battle in between.

This is the story of Little Fox and one VERY BIG imagination.

Debut author Jorma Taccone, member of the hit comedy trio The Lonely Island, has paired up with New York Times–bestselling, Caldecott Medal–winning illustrator Dan Santat to create Little Fox and the Wild Imagination, a picture book about time, space, and even giant-robot-squids.