The Brain at Rest (Dr. Joseph Jebelli)

 

I seem to be on a deep dive into rest and the importance of taking it easy. This book was a great addition to that quest.

Chapter 1: How Overwork Is Literally Killing Us

• Spend at least twenty minutes a day staring blankly into space. Try not to think about anything in particular; simply let your mind rest and wander, breathing slowly and deeply through your nose as your do. This is arguably the hardest way to rest because our society has indoctrinated us into believing it's a waste of time, but it's one of the best ways to activate your default network.
• Try to step away from your normal routines and thoughts for at least a few minutes every day. Your mind needs intermittent breaks to refresh and stimulate default network activity. Don't worry about justifying it - you never need to justify your health. I snatch these precious moments just before getting on my bike in the morning, pausing to look at trees lining my street. 
• In Poincare fashion, go for long walks and spend time sitting on public transport, staring out of the window. Sometimes, when I need inspiration, I take a bus to nowhere in particular.
• If you have a bathtub, have more baths than showers. Besides being better for sore muscles and lowering your blood sugar levels, a bath lets your best thinking happen because it allows your mind ample space to roam. A bath before bed also improves your sleep, another period of high default network activity. Try including some soothing bath salts; I find they give me the best mental relief.

Chapter 2: The Neuroscience of Work

• Take regular, scheduled breaks throughout the day. Follow, for example, the Pomodoro Technique (25 minutes of work followed by a 5-minute break), which lowers your risk of burnout, allowing the brain to recover and restore its executive functions, thus maintaining a higher level of performance.
• Try the time-blocking technique, where you simply divide your day into blocks of time, which prevents task-switching and multitasking (known productivity killers) and ensures focused effort on one thing at a time. This method harnesses your executive network's preference for structured tasks. By focusing on a single activity, you reduce cognitive overload and help your prefrontal cortex optimize task management.
• Implement email rules - that is, set specific times for checking and responding to emails. This prevents consistent interruption and helps preserve focus on more important tasks. Ceaselessly checking your email fatigues the prefrontal cortex and depletes your executive network's resources for focused thinking and decision-making. It's like trying to walk a tightrope while someone keeps tugging on your rope from below, throwing you off-balance with each pull.
• Establish criteria for accepting work meetings. Ask yourself, Is this meeting relevant? How long is it? Do I really need to be there? Then propose alternatives like email updates or condensed sessions to preserve time. Streamlining meetings helps your executive network enormously. When meetings are short and relevant, they make better use of our attention and working-memory capacities.

Part 2 Rest

Chapter 3: Mind Wandering

Practical tips to help your mind wander:

• Try a technique called positive constructive daydreaming (PCD) which involves tempting yourself into a controlled fantasy, helping your mind wander and thus engage your default network. For example, imagine it is one year from now and you're living the life you want, or imagine yourself in an earthly paradise. This intention kind of mind wandering, as opposed to the unintentional kind we often slip into, may provide even more protection from stress and anxiety, according to a recent study by the American Psychological Association - and this is especially true if we find what we're thinking about particularly interesting. So the next time you feel guilty for wandering off from work to muse about the fact that whale song can be used to map the ocean floor, or that there are 4 quadrillion quadrillion bacteria on the Earth, or that there are fossilized plants in Greenland under 1.4 kilometers of ice - don't.
• Try something new at least once a week. Every time you put your brain in a novel situation, it quickly learns how to process the new circumstances using the inferior prefrontal cortex, a hotbed of creativity-enhancing default network neurons. If it's hard to try something new, try something you usually do in an unusual way; take a different route to work, write paper notes instead of typing, pause while in your neighborhood and soak in all the multisensory impressions
• Listen to sad music. Not only does it improve your mood when you're feeling down (yes, really), but it's also associated with stronger mind wandering and greater default network activity.
• For employers, do yourself and your company a huge favor by removing teh stigma associated with mind-wandering. Discuss its benefits with your employees and allow them time to explore its creative powers.

Chapter 4: The Science of Tree-Hugging (Why Nature is So Good For Your Brain)

Some tips to activate your default network with forest bathing.

• Walk slowly through the forest. This isn't a hike or jog; it's a leisurely stroll.  The goal isn't to get to the finishing line. Move at a pace that allows you to observe and connect with your surroundings.
• Hugs a tree whenever you can. As well as reducing cortisol, blood pressure, and heart rate, it releases oxytocin and activates your brain's default network.
• If at all possible ,go camping a few times a year. This will raise your natural killer cell count nicely. If you can go more frequently, even better.
• As well as in the forest, spend time on the beach or near the sea. People who live near the coast tend to have better physical and mental health than those who don't. Believe it or not, a big reason for this is that the color blue actually changes our brain waves and induces a sense of calm and peace. The sea air is also remarkably good for our mood.

Chapter 5: Mindful Solitude

1. Start small (10 min/day) Just sit and breathe.

2. Schedule solitude. Plan a specific time each day to be alone.

3. Disconnect to reconnect. No digital devices during your solitude time.

4. Engage in solo activities (walking, journaling, yoga)

5. Reflect and reassess. 

• Just go. Sometimes the simplest advice is best, especially when it comes to rejuvenating your brain's health. Planning a solo trip or retreat can seem daunting at first, with concerns about loneliness or boredom creeping in. But the act of stepping away from your daily routine and immersing yourself in a new environment can be incredibly liberating. It forces you out of your comfort zone, stimulates your senses in unexpected ways, and provides the perfect backdrop for introspection and creativity
• If you can't plan a big trip and are tied down by work and family commitments, just go to a quiet room alone; even a brief respite in a tranquil space can be a powerful form of solitude. By making the effort to find peace in the midst of a busy life, you're taking a vital step toward maintaining mental well-being and enhancing your brain's health.
• Understand that doing nothing, even when it involves not being social, is no bad thing. The social circuits within your brain's default network need time to rest and replenish. In fact, studies show that too much socializing may even cause harm, including high stress and greater mortality risk. Though isolation and loneliness are not good for our health, we still need solitude, so set boundaries and leave space for alone time.
• Ensure that when you do socialize, it's meaningful, good quality socializing. Many of us spend time with people we shouldn't - bad friends, frenemies, a toxic family member - but we do it because we feel obliged to. This raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol int he brain, which damages our social circuitry and harms the good-quality relationships we should be enjoying.

Chapter 6: Sleep On It Your Brain's Master Healer

- Broadly speaking, sleep has two functions: it's cognitive enhancer and a restorative powerhouse. The cognitive side of sleep nurtures our capacity for learning and memory. (p. 123) Note to self: Re-read pages 123-127

Napping: it lowers stress by reducing cortisol levels in the brain; it encourages the regeneration of damaged brain cells; and it triggers a new kind of thinking "that we have yet to understand." That final point presents an intriguing mystery. We know that napping improves memory, creativity, and cognitive function, yet there could be other, less understood aspects of brain function and benefit from napping. (p. 129)

• Every night before you go to bed, spend ten to twenty minutes staring blankly into space. This will activate your default network at the critical hypnagogic phase, the period between wakefulness and sleep. After doing nothing during your hypnagogic phase, write down your thoughts in a journal. It's a key moment for your best insights and ability to solve problems.
• When you wake up the following day, don't immediately roll out of bed and begin your day as usual; instead, spend another ten to twenty minutes doing absolutely nothing. Just stare into space. At this point, the period between sleep and full alertness, your brain's hypnopompic phase is active, which is another golden opportunity to active your default network.
• Try to nap for thirty minutes daily. This short rest during the day will make your brain bigger, reduce stress, and regenerate damaged brain cells.
• Sleep  for as long as you feel like sleeping. Your brain doesn't care about arbitrary work hours or overbearing bosses. Your brain needs as much asleep as it tells you it needs. Listen to it. And know that the usual amount of six to eight hours' sleep is often not enough. To ensure your default network is thriving, aim for eight to ten hours.

Chapter 7: Playology

Re: Video games: My partner has noticed an improvement in my mood ever since I started gaming a little each day, a hobby I hadn't indulged in since my early twenties. Like many, I feared it could negatively affect my well-being, especially given the moral panic that video games can harm our brains or incite violence - theories now thoroughly disproved. In fact, video games can positively impact mental health and well-being, providing a sense of achievement and a safe escape from everyday pressures. (p. 148)

Play personalities (p. 149) (or ways to engage in play...keeping this list for when I feel at a loss for something fun to fill time with:

The Collector - finds joy in the hunt, whether it be for books, plants, antiques or rare Pokémon cards;

The Competitor - thrives on sports and winning, and loves a five-a-side football match and the teamwork of a basketball game

The creator - finds deep satisfaction in the hours spent filing, painting, composing music or tending to a garden

The Director - has natural aptitude for leadership and wants to change the world by organizing and inspiring others

The Explorer - driven by an insatiable curiosity, always on the lookout for new experiences, be it a new forest or a spontaneous hike in he mountains

The Jokes - loves to laugh, using wit hand humor among friends and injecting levity into life's darker moments

The Kinesthete -loves to move - to dance, to swing, and to reap all the brain benefits of active rest

The Storyteller - the ultimate raconteur and who loves to transport their audience to other worlds; using mediums like writing, acting or teaching

• Find micro-moments of play throughout your day. Whether it's dancing to your favorite song while cooking dinner or singing out loud on your cycle home, these small acts of joy will lighten your mood and significantly improve your brain health. Embrace these snippets of spontaneity to weave a tapestry to playfulness into the fabric of everyday life.
• Advocate for a shorter workweek. Explore the feasibility and benefits of a four-day workweek in your workplace or community, inspired by the successful trials in Iceland, to create more time for rest and play. Now, more than ever, is the moment for workers around the globe to unite and reclaim their time for leisure, wellness, and personal growth.
• Make downtime and play sacrosanct. In our rush toward short-term productivity we completely overlook the value that comes from moments of leisure and play, not just for children but for adults as well. This sacred time, carved out from the demands of our daily lives, is vital for the resting brain. Value it like sleep, a cornerstone of life itself.
• Resist the urge to share your playful activities on social media. True play is for your enrichment, not for external validation. This approach helps maintain the purity and personal significance of the experience, ensuring that it remains a genuine source of joy and rest.

Chapter 8: Active Rest

• If you can, introduce some high-intensity exercise - anything aerobic - into your week. This will strengthen connections in your default network
• Aim for thirty minutes of exercise a day, five days a week. If you're struggling to fit this in, remember, your brain doesn't need quite as much to see benefits: just twenty-five minutes of exercise per week, a mere four minutes a day, can enhance your brain size and health. Even gentle physical exercises like walking and yoga can increase your brain size.
• Harness the brain benefits of sex if you can. Whether it's once every few weeks or several times a week, incorporating this form of active rest benefits adults of all ages, stimulating the brain's default network and improving memory, thinking ability, decision-making, and emotional processing.
• Ultimately, the crucial thing to remember is that active rest lowers your risk of developing a devastating neurological disorder. Just as stopping smoking lowers your risk of cancer, embracing active rest lowers your risk of Alzheimer's disease, stroke, PTSD, and depression, to name a few. So create a sense of urgency about active rest - because it is urgent.

Chapter 9: Just Do Nothing

• Carve out time every day to just be. I find the best way to do this is to simply sit in a chair and stare out the window. In doing so, your brain is no longer focusing on the details of an action; it has entered the perfect zone for default network activity. A great resource for helping people just be is www.donothingfor2minutes.org. Try it
• When you feel that you've had enough niksing, try combining it with an easy, semiautomatic activity such as knitting, This will keep your mind occupied without deactivating your default network. If knitting's not your thing, explore other semiautomatic activities: draw, do a jigsaw puzzle, sort things by color, create a family tree, look for stones and shells on the beach, stargaze, fold and refold paper, peel the labels from bottles, pop bubble wrap. There is no one-size-fits-all. Try whatever form of rest fits you best.
• Try what's called the Black marker test; jot down all the things you plan to do this week, then take a black marker and cross out all the tasks that can be postponed or, better still, canceled. You'll be amazed at how cluttered your free time really is.
• Push through the initial discomfort of doing nothing and work up to longer stretches of doing nothing. Reach a stage where you have a few days a week without any obligations or appointments. Dare to be idle. It is a quiet kind of revolution, but your brain will thank you in the end.

He had some great quotes in the book too. I just had to note them:

Burnout is not the price we have to pay for success. (Arianna Huffington)

How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. (Virginia Wolf)

How we spend our days is, of course, how se spend our lives. (Annie Dillard)

The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience. (Emily Dickinson)

Everybody should be quiet near a little stream and listen. (Ruth Krauss)

Without great solitude, no serious work is possible. (Pablo Picasso)

The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath, 

Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,

Chief nourisher in life's feast.

 (Macbeth 2.2.36-38)

Leisure is the mother of philosophy (Thomas Hobbes)

I have always believed that exercise is the key not only to physical health but to peace of mind. (Nelson Mandela)

Just act normal, that's already crazy enough (Dutch proverb)

How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. (Virginia Woolf)

Goodreads says:

From Joseph Jebelli, PhD, neuroscientist and author of In Pursuit of Memory, a narrative exploration of the science of doing nothing and its benefits for the brain and body.

We are constantly told to make the most of our time. Work harder, with more focus. Stop procrastinating. Optimize. To be happy, creative, and successful requires discipline. The most important thing is to be efficient with every precious hour. 


But what if all that advice was wrong, and letting the brain rest, and the mind wander, could improve our lives? Dr. Joseph Jebelli proves this surprising and fascinating point in The Brain at Rest, blending science and personal stories with practical tips about using the brain’s “default network,” which turns itself on when we turn off the constant need to always do and achieve. By activating our default network through long walks, baths, and spending time in nature, we can all be more content, less stressed, and actually more productive.


Perfect for anyone interested in science and creativity, or anyone feeling overwhelmed in their day-to-day lives, The Brain at Rest is a deeply researched and entertaining antidote to overwork and burnout, showing readers the way to happier, healthier, and more balanced lives.

[Un]Intentional (Doug Smith)

 

This was an audio book I decided to listen to while delivering flyers for the food bank drive (hours and hours of walking!) It was really good. He has a Biblical approach to the problems with screens. The people creating social media are very intentional at capturing our attention and as a result, we have started to live our lives in unintentional ways. I was quite persuaded by his argument that we have to take back the control and be in charge of our own lives and one of the key ways to do that is to break the screen addiction. I was quite persuaded by the author's approach to this topic. I know I'm much happier and contended when I spend time reading and listening to good podcasts and audio books. The pull of social media is really strong and easy to get sucked into as a time waster.

Goodreads says:

Most of us are unintentional with screens, but tech industry architects intentionally make their content distracting, manipulative, and addictive.

[Un]Intentional shows how our obsession with screens often takes us—unintentionally—to places we regret. It reveals the way many apps, games, and videos are designed to entice us to make decisions and form harmful habits that profit the creators at our expense.

[Un]Intentional helps you break free by guiding you through proven biblical practices to reclaim your thought life, make good decisions, and fulfill your God-given mission.

Billy and the Giant Adventure (Jamie Oliver)

 

January 2025: I might be the only person on the planet who didn't know who Jamie Oliver was before I read this book. He's a chef. He has trouble with words and is apparently dyslexic. He wrote a book. 

I read lots of raving reviews about it....but I'm not on board. I didn't think it was really well written. I also thought it was way to long for J fiction. He could have made each adventure one book if he really wants kids to read it. Close to 400 pages is too much. Although, the pictures were great. They were big and interesting and really well done. 

I always tell my students, when we are learning narrative writing, that they can't a story with "I got up and had breakfast" and they can't end it with "I went home, had dinner and went to bed". Jamie Oliver does that with EVERY single chapter. I know he's a food guy....but it was too much. 

The recipes were interesting. Not sure why he also added his favorite movies from the 80s. Maybe they inspired his story? I don't know. 

It's part Narnia (they escape into a magical forest....David Robertson did a Narnia remake way better in The Barren Grounds), part environmental education (something is wrong with the "Rhythm"....which is always capitalized in the book....I'd encourage kids to read Willowdeen instead of they want that topic) and part adventure (Magic Tree House anyone?).

Oh. And it's called the GIANT adventure because there's a giant....but you don't find that out until the last few chapters. Weird.

There's controversy with book 2. He has been criticized for stereotyping First Nations people in Australia. I blame that one on the editors. Seriously? No one clued in?? I think they just ran with something they thought could really sell because he's already famous. 

Because we picked this for our Grade 3 book club book, I did finish it. I wouldn't have otherwise.

I don't usually have this much to say about books I don't like.

Update: My students LOVED this book. Maybe I should stop being such a grumpy old teacher. LOL We sat in a circle and talked about our favorite parts. Ten students had read it and their responses were so delightful. We had lots of laughs remembering the funny parts of the book.

Reread August 2025. I'm still not a fan. This is a terribly written book. It could have been 200 pages if all the food stuff that kids aren't interested in was left out. With this read I wrote out chapter summaries to help keep myself focused. It was the only thing that kept me going, to be honest. I'll never pick this book again for a book club read! It's just been too painful.

Chapter summaries:

Chapter 1 The Day It All Began We meet all the kids (Billy, Anna, Andy and Jimmy), a bully named Bruce Brace and Basil. Basil is a sprite that lives in Waterfall Woods. He warns them about the boonas - a rag tag group of creatures that like to bother the sprites

Chapter 2 Boonas vs Billy Billy goes into Waterfall Woods alone because he got a message on his necklace that Basil needed help. He has a confrontation with the boonas....all solved with some dramatic fighting which Billy wins dramatically. The worst of the boonas was Mama Boona but Billy conquers her by throwing food his mother had packed for him in a picnic basket (I guess this fit in his backpack?) Billy goes home and shares with his friends that the sprites have told him about a problem in Waterfall Woods - an imbalance.

Chapter 3 Basil to the Rescue Billy's experience with the Boonas gives him courage to take on Bruno the bully at school. Bruno dumps Billy's lunch on his head, steals his donut when he leaves the bakery shop. They have an altercation and finally Billy zips off on his skateboard, only to crash into a lady whose groceries go flying. While trying to help her, of course, Bruno catches up. But Basil freezes everyone. He spends the weekend at his grandfather's house and finds out he knows about the rhythm and about a strange mystery of two brothers who went into Waterfall Woods and one disappeared.

Chapter 4 Battle of the Treehouse The Boonas come to attack Billy. They managed to get a piece of his clothing in the wrestle in the previous chapter. All the kids are in the treehouse. Luckily, Andy eats a lot of beans and has gas and so they're able to create fire while farting on a flame. The Boonas have never seen anything like this and run in fear. Andy is named Andy the Fart Blaster.

Chapter 5 The Lost City

Basil gets lost. They find him and it turns out as they do so they're led to a lost city. There's talk of Balthazar. Who is Balthazar?  Problems with the water and The Rhythm are introduced. Andy's Uncle Kev has a new electronic prison tag? Random weird information (p. 148)

Chapter 6 Who's Wrecking the Rhythm

I can barely stand this anymore. These chapters meander so much. 

Gem of a quote: ....when you've fought off Boonas and discovered hidden cities, the school bully doesn't seem such a big deal anymore (p. 177) Lesson: Imaginative play and ignoring bullies pays!! 

The kids discover more dead fish. They're concerned and set off to figure out why this is happening. They find a pipe that is "gushing green-tinged gunk pouring into the river," which also causes their eyes to sting. They spy on the location and find someone dressed up as a "scary astronaut" (lame description). Seems that they have a turkey farm and all the poop is pumped out on a conveyor belt (why was it green??) They want to keep investigating but they have a field trip coming up so they decide to forge some letters from their parents to give the schools to get out of going to school...elaborate plans and concerns over handwriting, spelling problems, etc are discussed ad nauseum. The kids decide to contact a local reporter because he has always wanted a big break story.

Chapter 7 Billy's Masterplan

Lots of detail about how they write the letters....they eventually discover a typewriter and decide to type their letters excusing their absence. Jimmy is encouraged to "think James Bond". Do kids even know who James Bond is? Couldn't the author find something that would be a better connection?

Finally, they're back on their adventure, only something weird has happened....the compass seems to be totally reversed. They discover some huge beautiful garden and a giant.

Chapter 8 A Giant Mystery

Turns out the giant is friendly and he used to be their size but he ate vegetables a lot and grew like crazy. The giant likes to sing (totally corny song) and has an "enchanting voice". That really doesn't go anywhere though and is instead, an extra superfluous, unnecessary detail. There's some lame dialogue (The giant says, "What's that? Who's that? Where are you....where are you? Let me see you - give me a sign!" They introduce themselves and find out his name is Bilfred. He tells his story: he was sad to be trapped in this garden but he started to realize how beautiful this little piece of paradise was and started to change his attitude. 236) He teaches them that his garden taught him that  nature and life are all about harmony (p. There's weird kid humor moments (Andy yelped and let our a panicked fart, which propelled him just a little bit further...p. 233) The giant also sometimes uses big words: "There are many tales about the symbiotic relationship between Sprites and Giants..." (p. 251) which is kind of weird next to the fart jokes. He gives them some stones in a variety of colors that appear to be magical.

Then there's this weird "meanwhile, back in the bedroom where dad is telling the kids a bedtime story" narrative. I'd almost forgot this book is dad telling kids a story. The kids beg for the story to continue. As the mom, I'd say, just go to sleep! But anyway...

Chapter 9: Operation Overnight

All through the book they use walkie talkies...and have codes like "operation overnight" which means they're all lying to their parents that they're staying at another person's house over night...but in reality they're off on another adventure (sometimes there are great lessons in this book and other times they're plain old lying to their parents and forging letters) Amidst the intricate details of breakfast, Billy finds out from this parents that the reporter friend is on the trail of the story they leaked to him. Billy side steps reporters, circling helicopters, etc to get on with his adventure. They've realized they're able to open the secret door to this land of adventure by being tree-huggers. They're solved the problem of the disturbance of the Rhythm so now their mission is to rescue Bilfred, the giant. They do.

Chapter 10: Bilfred's Tale

Turns out Bilfred had gone into the woods with his brother. They got scared and got separated. Big tears plop down as Bilfred tells the story. The kids realize Bilfred's brother is Wilfred...the cranky old man who always tells them to not go into the woods. Turns out he's only cranky because he misses his brother so very much (insert eye roll). Now the dilemma is how can they reunite a man and his brother when the man is actually a giant and their homes are swarming with journalists. They get Bilfred to tell them a story (code word kind of thing) that only Wilfred would recognize.

Chapter 11 A Midnight Adventure

The break into Wilfred's house and discover a room full of maps all over the walls and newspaper clippings about a boy being lost in the woods. The secret code worked (a tin that Bilfred had given Wilfred and of course, Wilfred still cherishes it)

Chapter 12 Together Again

The hug a tree thing works and Bilfred and Wilfred are reunited. A map is discovered that shows there is even more in the Waterfall Woods than they realized...but that's an adventure for another day.

Epilogue

Kids can't believe this story is over and beg for a resolution to what else happens in Waterfall Woods. Dad promises he'll keep telling stories.

And I'm so glad to be finished this corny book finally. I think it's time to put the book in the recycling, to be honest.

Goodreads says:
One pinch of adventure, a dash of friendship, a sprinkle of mystery and a HUGE spoonful of magic . . . Jamie Oliver, bestselling author and internationally renowned chef, delivers the perfect recipe for a page-turning children's fiction debut!

Billy and his friends know that Waterfall Woods is out of bounds; strange things are rumoured to have happened there and no one in their village has ventured past its walls for decades...But when they discover a secret way in, Billy and his best friends, Anna, Jimmy and Andy, can't resist the temptation to explore! Only to quickly discover that the woods are brimming with magic and inhabited by all sorts of unusual creatures, including a whole community of sprites who need the children's help!

With magical battles, a long-lost mythical city, fantastical flying machines, epic feasts and one GIANT rescue, get ready for an adventure you'll never forget!

The Maid (Nita Prose)

 

This was kind of like Amelia Bedelia grows up and becomes a maid and becomes part of a murder. 

Her obsession with things being super clean totally spoke to my heart. I get it! 

I'll totally read more in this series. It was just what I needed: a light weekend read after a tiring week of being back to school.

Nita Prose has to be a pseudonym, right??

Goodreads says:

Molly Gray is not like everyone else. She struggles with social skills and misreads the intentions of others. Her gran used to interpret the world for her, codifying it into simple rules that Molly could live by.

Since Gran died a few months ago, twenty-five-year-old Molly has been navigating life's complexities all by herself. No matter—she throws herself with gusto into her work as a hotel maid. Her unique character, along with her obsessive love of cleaning and proper etiquette, make her an ideal fit for the job. She delights in donning her crisp uniform each morning, stocking her cart with miniature soaps and bottles, and returning guest rooms at the Regency Grand Hotel to a state of perfection.

But Molly's orderly life is upended the day she enters the suite of the infamous and wealthy Charles Black, only to find it in a state of disarray and Mr. Black himself dead in his bed. Before she knows what's happening, Molly's unusual demeanor has the police targeting her as their lead suspect. She quickly finds herself caught in a web of deception, one she has no idea how to untangle. Fortunately for Molly, friends she never knew she had unite with her in a search for clues to what really happened to Mr. Black—but will they be able to find the real killer before it's too late?

A Clue-like, locked-room mystery and a heartwarming journey of the spirit, The Maid explores what it means to be the same as everyone else and yet entirely different—and reveals that all mysteries can be solved through connection to the human heart.

Penguin Huddle (Ross Montgomery)

 We loved this! It totally captured our imagination. And who couldn't love these penguins?! 

Goodreads says:

A charming and playful picture book told with humour and heart from the brilliant team behind Ten Delicious Teachers.

The penguin pack play all day long. And when the sun goes down, and the night grows cold and dark…“PENGUIN HUDDLE!” The penguins squeeze and squish together to stay warm and cosy. But one night, there is a freezing gale. And the next morning … the penguins are stuck! They are frozen together like a giant penguin ice pop. What a penguin MUDDLE! Nobody in the Antarctic can figure out how to unstick them. But Pipsqueak, the smallest penguin of them all, has a brilliant idea... They must adventure out of their snowy home to a vibrant city across the great, gleaming ocean to solve their penguin puzzle.

This light-hearted tale of jolly penguins big and small is a celebration of friendship, community spirit and helping those in trouble.

Millie Fleur's Poison Garden (Christy Mandin)

 

This is a super cute story with a great message. Be yourself!! 

It would be fun to plant some strange garden plants after reading this.

Goodreads says:
Wednesday Addams meets The Curious Garden in this delightfully peculiar story about finding joy in being wonderfully weird.

Garden Glen is a very bland place. Every house and every garden looks exactly like the other. That is… until Millie Fleur La Fae comes to town.

Up on a scruffy hill, beside a ramschackle house, Millie Fleur plants her marvelously strange garden, filled with Sneezing Stickyweed, Fanged Fairymoss, and Grumpy Gilliflower. Millie Fleur finds it enchanting, but the townspeople of Garden Glen call it poison!

But Millie Fleur is proud of her beloved little garden. So if some townspeople want to be sticks in the mud, she'll take matters into her own hands and find the kindred spirits who appreciate everything the garden has to offer.

Millie Fleur's Poison Garden is a reminder to embrace everything that makes us wonderfully weird. Perfect for readers of The Creepy Carrots and fans of the Addams Family movies.

Don't Trust Fish (Neil Sharpson)

 

I'll read any Dan Santat book....even if he's the illustrator and there's a different author. This book is so great. It starts by simply stating facts. When it gets to fish it talks about all the ways fish are absurd...and it's hilarious. 

This would be great book to talk about genre. Everywhere I look it says it's fiction, but I'd be willing to teach that it's informational non-fiction!

Also, when stating the facts, every sentence is a subject opener. It would be fun to re-write this book using different types of openers. 

Goodreads says:

An absurdly laugh-out-loud funny picture book about the villainy of fish, illustrated by National Book Award-winning creator Dan Santat

Why, dear reader, must you NEVER EVER trust fish?

1) They spend all their time in the water where we can’t see them.
2) Some are as big as a bus—that is not okay.
3) We don't know what they're teaching in their "schools."
4) They are likely plotting our doom.

This nature-guide-gone-wrong is a hilarious, off-the-rails exploration of the seemingly innocent animals that live in the water.

Do Nothing (Celeste Headlee)

 

I had no idea who Celeste Headlee was before reading this book. I like her! She's done a lot and written a lot. 

Bertrand Russell (in 1932!): It will be said that, while a little leisure is pleasant, men would not know how to fill their days if they had only four hours of work out of the twenty-four. In so far s this is true in the modern world, it is a condemnation of our civilization; it would not have been true at any earlier period. There was formerly a capacity for light-heartedness and play which has been to some extent inhibited by the cult of efficiency. The modern man thinks that everything out to be done for the sake of something else, and never for it's own sake. (In Praise of Idleness)

The beginning of the book could be summed up with the idea that working hard actually does not get you ahead - so cut it out. Also, "what are you working so hard for?! Your Puritan upbringing that taught you that idleness is sinful." 

I have a hard time giving up the concept of working hard. The second half of the book was more about how to analyze how you're really spending your time - which leads to the idea that you do have time to relax if you just quit scrolling or doing other time-wasters - which I can buy into.

Goodreads says:

Despite our constant search for new ways to 'hack' our bodies and minds for peak performance, human beings are working more instead of less, living harder not smarter, and becoming more lonely and anxious. We strive for the absolute best in every aspect of our lives, ignoring what we do well naturally. Why do we measure our time in terms of efficiency instead of meaning? Why can't we just take a break?

In Do Nothing, award-winning journalist Celeste Headlee illuminates a new path ahead, seeking to institute a global shift in our thinking so we can stop sabotaging our well-being, put work aside and start living instead of doing.

The key lies in embracing what makes us human: our creativity, our social connections (Instagram doesn't count), our ability for reflective thought, and our capacity for joy. Celeste's strategies will allow you to regain control over your life and break your addiction to false efficiency, including:

-Increase your time perception and determine how your hours are being spent.
-Stop comparing yourself to others.
-Invest in quality idle time. Take a hot bath and listen to music.
-Spend face-to-face time with friends and family

It's time to recover our leisure time and reverse the trend that's making us all sadder, sicker, and less productive.

Lula Dean's Little Library of Banned Books (Kirsten Miller)

 

This book was equally enraging and endearing all at the same time. I loved it. It was one of those books that you just can't stop reading. 

One challenge for me is there were a LOT of characters. If I read it again, I'll make a list so I can be more efficient with my reading.

Goodreads says:
The provocative and hilarious summer read that will have book lovers cheering and everyone talking! Kirsten Miller, author of The Change, brings us a bracing, wildly entertaining satire about a small Southern town, a pitched battle over banned books, and a little lending library that changes everything.

Beverly Underwood and her arch enemy, Lula Dean, live in the tiny town of Troy, Georgia, where they were born and raised. Now Beverly is on the school board, and Lula has become a local celebrity by embarking on mission to rid the public libraries of all inappropriate books—none of which she’s actually read. To replace the “pornographic” books she’s challenged at the local public library, Lula starts her own lending library in front of her home: a cute wooden hutch with glass doors and neat rows of the worthy literature that she’s sure the town’s readers need.

But Beverly’s daughter Lindsay sneaks in by night and secretly fills Lula Dean’s little free library with banned books wrapped in “wholesome” dust jackets. The Girl’s Guide to the Revolution is wrapped in the cover of The Southern Belle’s Guide to Etiquette. A jacket that belongs to Our Confederate Heroes ends up on Beloved. One by one, neighbors who borrow books from Lula Dean’s library find their lives changed in unexpected ways. Finally, one of Lula Dean’s enemies discovers the library and decides to turn the tables on her, just as Lula and Beverly are running against each other to replace the town’s disgraced mayor.

That’s when all the townspeople who’ve been borrowing from Lula’s library begin to reveal themselves. It’s a diverse and surprising bunch—including the local postman, the prom queen, housewives, a farmer, and the former DA—all of whom have been changed by what they’ve read. When Lindsay is forced to own up to what she’s done, the showdown that’s been brewing between Beverly and Lula will roil the whole town...and change it forever.

Before Happiness (Shawn Achor)

 

Notes:

The author says that we can create positive realities...and when we do that, we are happier. Happiness actually comes before success, not from it.

His TedTalk is worth watching.

1. Reality Architecture

- Realize that multiple versions of reality exist. Some will always see the negative and a few will see the positive. 

- Whichever one you choose to focus on, you can dramatically reduce the affects of stress.

- If you change your viewpoint, you can see different advantages
- Pursue the most advantageous reality

2. Mental Cartography

- Highlight meaning markers along the way

- Find many meanings and different ways to look at how you can achieve success - this is called reorienting your map for success

- Map your success routes before you look for escape routes

- Don't start at zero. Show yourself some progress you've already made and start there.

- Find points of progress you can celebrate along the way

3. Cancel the Noise - boost the signal that points to greater

- Noise check your life: is information coming in unusable, unpractical, hypothetical and distracting - cancel it out!  

- Do the 5% experiment. For two weeks, try to decrease your information intake by 5%. Cut out information that fits some of the information on "noise"

- Keep a car radio off for the first five minutes of your commute, limit TV news, and limit articles that report on negative events half a world away

- Create active noise canceling by posting a sign next to your desk listing the 3 waves of positive energy

    - I will keep my worry in proportion to the likelihood of the event

    - I will not ruin 10,000 days to be right on a handful

    - I will not equate worrying with being loving or responsible

- Fact Check - keep your worrying in proportion to the likelihood of the event by asking these two questions:

        1. How often has this negative event happened in the past?

        2. How often has this negative event occurred to me personally?

- Do a 5-minute writing exercise. Anytime you hear doubting voices, take 5 minutes to write about things you feel passionate and positive about (your children, your sports, your values, your faith). By actively canceling such noises, you can increase your performance by 10-15%.

- Exercise! Add exercise to your routine. It decreases anxiety by as much as 20%. 

4. Creating Positive Inception - transfer your reality to others

- The person who speaks first is often perceived to be the leader. Set the tone by saying something helpful first.

- The social script has to be written by someone. Why not you?! 

- Make your tone and look fit your words. Nod and smile when others are sharing to make your non-verbals positive.

- Change the script from tragedy to comedy. Humor wields more social influence.

- Share stories from people who have benefited from what you do to inspire others.

- Start each conversation with a compliment or encouraging comment

- Add 3 smiles: flex your powerful positivity muscle 3 times a day

- Write down funny things you hear and find a way to share it in the next 24 hours (but not with a FWD email or post!)

- Create a narrative - develop a shared positive narrative about a time you or your team overcame something. Write out a real story with climax, conflict and resolving action.

Working on your humor

- keep lists of jokes and funny stories

- watch comedy shows to work on your timing

Goodreads says:

Why are some people able to make positive change while others remain the same?

In his international bestseller, The Happiness Advantage, Harvard trained researcher Shawn Achor described why happiness is the precursor to greater success. This book is about what comes before both. Because before we can be happy or successful, we need to first develop the ability to see that positive change is possible. Only once we learn to see the world through a more positive lens can we summon all our motivation, emotion, and intelligence to achieve our personal and professional goals.

In Before Happiness, Achor reveals five actionable, proven strategies for changing our lens to positive:

· The Most Valuable Reality: See a broader range of ideas and solutions by changing the details on which your brain chooses to focus
· Success Mapping: Set goals oriented around the things in life that matter to you most, whether career advancement or family or making a difference in the world
· The X-spot: Use success accelerants to propel you more quickly towards those goals, whether finishing a marathon, reaching a sales target, learning a language, or losing 10 pounds
· Noise-Canceling: Boost the signal pointing you to opportunities and possibilities that others miss
· Positive Inception: Transfer these skills to your team, your employees, and everyone around you

By mastering these strategies, you’ll create an renewable source of positivity, motivation, and engagement that will allow you to reach your fullest potential in everything you do.

His TedTalk is great:

Mercy (Jodi Picoult)

 

I've read a few Jodi Picoult books and always enjoyed them. I can't say the same for this one. It's definitely her style - one story from many perspectives. She does a good job of that. I just didn't like the content.

Spoiler alert: I did not like Cam...he's a jerk who seems to resent his wife for loving him. Mia made no sense. She comes into town, gets hired immediately in Allie's flower shop and starts an affair with Cam. I kept thinking there'd be a back story that made it logical - that somehow they knew each other before and happen to cross paths again. Nope. The story of Jamie and his wife was the only redeeming part of this book. I'm glad he was found innocent.   I didn't understand why the bit about Cameron's Scottish family history mattered....except it seemed like he got the position as Chief of Police just because he was family? It seemed extra. There were a lot of seemingly unnecessary characters (like the old girlfriend who comes to town to do a book talk? Nothing came of that. Even the MIL....totally periphery to the story and irritatingly not willing to stand up to her son when is doing something so terrible...but she did spread around some healing herbs....eeesh)

I don't like stories about adultery. I kept reading it because it was a book club pick and I kept hoping Cam would wise up. I don't think he ever does. Mia leaves town. Allie sells everything that is his (even his uniforms) and he has to go around town trying to buy everything back. He's frustrated that it takes Allie so long to get over the affair. He's a jerk. She does forgive him though. She's nice like that. I can't really say I don't like her. I just think she's a woman who didn't deserve what she got. I did like that Graham, the unproven lawyer who works in his dad's law firm, wins the case. Good job Graham. May this be the beginning of something great for you. I hope Jamie marries again and finds happiness.

Characters:

• Allie - flowershop owner (located close to the police station to bind him to her), doting wife
• Cameron MacDonald - police chief, feels caged, reads travel magazines secretly
• Angus MacDonald - grandfather? uncle? To Cameron MacDonald
• James MacDonald - murderer (cousin?)
• Maggic MacDonald - murder victim
• Mia - works in flower shop suddenly, stranger but hired and sleeps at their house, somehow familiar to Cameron, presented as someone who's free to travel the world
• Casey McRae - patrolman
• Graham McPhee - lawyer, Cameron has dirt on him from when he was 18, Cameron secretly hires him to represent James
• Martha Sully - magistrate at the courthouse
• Cleo - paralegal secretary in Graham's office
• Verona McBean - author Damnation in the 90's "To Hell and Back" The Nature of Hell (this character is only mentioned and not developed at all, only appears in the beginning of the book
• Jock Farquhason - bank teller
• Ellen MacDonald - Cameron's mother, husband, Ian, died 8 years ago, naturopath (Mothers of Light, New Age Community School)
• Emily Kerr - 80 years old, 5'0", gets a gun permit
• judge (name?) - has some funny quirks
• Audra Campbell - lawyer for the crown in court case

Lots of secrets in chapter 4:

• Graham hired by Cameron to represent James
• Cam hired Gram
• Cam kissed Mia
• Allia visits James in jail

Goodreads says:

Police chief of a small Massachusetts town, Cameron McDonald makes the toughest arrest of his life when his own cousin Jamie comes to him and confesses outright that he has killed his terminally ill wife out of mercy.

Now, a heated murder trial plunges the town into upheaval, and drives a wedge into a contented marriage: Cameron, aiding the prosecution in their case against Jamie, is suddenly at odds with his devoted wife, Allie -- seduced by the idea of a man so in love with his wife that he'd grant all her wishes, even her wish to end her life. And when an inexplicable attraction leads to a shocking betrayal, Allie faces the hardest questions of the heart: when does love cross the line of moral obligation? And what does it mean to truly love another?

Praised for her "personal, detail-rich style" (Glamour), Jodi Picoult infuses this page-turning novel with heart, warmth, and startling candor, taking readers on an unforgettable emotional journey.

Supercommunicators (Charles Duhigg)

 

I read another book by this author called The Power of Habit. It was really good.

I had to do some reframing with this book. I know people that he describes. I have often labelled them as manipulators. They're good at working people and "getting them on their side". People who laugh a lot (and loud) with people seem fake to me. I'm aware that laughter is a social construct. 

When phones first came out people thought no one would have REAL conversations on the phone. Teenagers proved that wrong! Talking on the phone requires more annunciating. 

Online communication is tricker because there is no voice. For example, a winking emoji after sarcasm helps improve communication. Rules of good online communication: Over emphasize politeness. Express more gratitude, deference, greetings, apologies and hedges.

"The right conversation, at the right moment, can change everything."

p. 112 Less than 20% of the laughter in our sample was a response to anything resembling a formal effort at humor. Rather, people laughedbecause they wanted to connect with the person they were speaking with. The vast majority of laughs, Provine wrote, "seemed to follow rather banal remarks," such as "Does anyone have a rubber band?"; "It was nice meeting you too"; and "U think I'm done." Mutual playfulness, in -group feeling and positive emotional tone - not comedy - mark the social settings of most naturally occurring laughter," Province concluded. Laughter is powerful, he wrote, because it is contagious, "Immediate and involuntary, involving the most direct communication possible between people: Brain to brain."
We laugh, in other words, to show someone that we want to connec twith them - and our companions laugh back to demonstrate they want to connect with us, as well. ....and so it follows that we exhibit emotional intelligence not just by hearing another person's feelings, but by showing we have heard them. Laughter, and other nonlinguistic expressios such as gasps and sighs, or smiles and frowns, are emobidiments of the matching principle, which says that we communicate by aligning our behaviors until our brains become entrained.

But how we match other people matters...If we chuckle only slightly at someone's joke, while they laugh uproariously, we'll both see it as a sign that we're not in sync - or worse, that one of us is trying too hard, or the other is not trying hard enough.

p. 118 One of the reasons supercommunicators are so talented at picking up on how others feel is because they have a habit of noticing the energy in others' gestures, the volume of their voices, how fast they are speaking, their cadence and affect. They pay attention to whether someone's posture indicates they are feeling down, or if they are are so excited they can barely contain it. Supercommunicators allow themselves to match that energy and mood, or at least acknowledge it, and thereby make it clear they want to align. They help us see and hear our feelings via their own bodies and voices. By matching our mood and energy, they make it obvious they are trying to connect.

p. 142 In a conflict, we draw out emotions by proving we are listening. We prove we are listening by looping for understanding (1. ask questions, 2. Summarize what you heard. 3. Ask if you got it right and repeat until everyone agrees we understand.)

p. 163 In a conflict, everyone craves control, but trying to control someone is destructive. Focus on controlling yourself, your environment and the conflict's boundaries.

p. 193 How to talk about who we are:

1. Draw out multiple identities
2. Put everyone on equal footing
3. Create new groups by building on existing identities

Podcasts about this book:
Art of Manliness (ugh for that title) 

Articles about this book:

Time Magazine How to Have More Meaningful Conversations

Financial Times Super Communicators are Made, Not Born

Linked In A Useful Concise Summary of Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg

Videos:
Four Minute Book Summaries

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1. The Three Conversation Types

Duhigg argues most interactions unfold within one (or a mix) of these:

Conversation Type	Central Question	Dominant Mode
Practical (Analytical)	“What’s this really about?”	Logic, evidence, decision-making
Emotional (Feelings)	“How do we feel?”	Emotions, vulnerabilities, empathy
Social / Identity‑based	“Who are we?”	Group roles, identity, self‑perception

2. The Matching Principle

Match others’ tone, pace, body language, and emotional energy to build rapport—and even entrain brainwaves in group settings.

3. Looping for Understanding - builds trust and ensures clarity

A three-step listening technique:

1. Ask a probing question

2. Repeat in your own words what you heard

3. Confirm accuracy with the speaker....ask if you got it right. 
   

4. Four Rules of “Learning Conversations”

To align conversations and deepen connection, follow these guidelines:

• Identify the conversation type

• Share and request goals

• Ask about feelings and share your own

• Note if identities or roles matter to what’s being discussed.

5. Navigating Conflict & Identity Safely

• Recognize conflict often stems from emotional or identity-based conversations.

• Prepare for tough conversations by listening first, acknowledging identities, avoiding generalizations, and using personal stories—not lectures.

6. Digital Communication Cues (Online Etiquette)

For online messaging and forums:

• Err on the side of politeness, limit sarcasm, express appreciation and deference, and avoid criticism in public threads.

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Actionable Takeaways

• Pause and Reflect: Before speaking, ask yourself what kind of conversation you want to have and what the other person might want.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage others to share their values, beliefs, and experiences.
• Listen Actively: Pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, and ask follow-up questions to show you're engaged.
• Express Empathy: Validate the other person's emotions and show that you understand their perspective.
• Share Your Own Vulnerabilities: Build trust by sharing your own experiences and feelings.
• Acknowledge Social Identities: Be aware of how social identities might be influencing the conversation, and create a safe space for diverse perspectives.
• Practice Looping for Understanding: Summarize what you heard and ask the speaker if the summary was accurate.

Goodreads says:

Who and what are supercommunicators? They're the people who can steer a conversation to a successful conclusion. They are able to talk about difficult topics without giving offence. They know how to make others feel at ease and share what they think. They're brilliant facilitators and decision-guiders. How do they do it?

In this groundbreaking book, Charles Duhigg unravels the secrets of the supercommunicators to reveal the art - and the science - of successful communication. He unpicks the different types of everyday conversation and pinpoints why some go smoothly while others swiftly fall apart. He reveals the conversational questions and gambits that bring people together. And he shows how even the most tricky of encounters can be turned around. In the process, he shows why a CIA operative was able to win over a reluctant spy, how a member of a jury got his fellow jurors to view an open-and-shut case differently, and what a doctor found they needed to do to engage with a vaccine sceptic.

Above all, he reveals the techniques we can all master to successfully connect with others, however tricky the circumstances. Packed with fascinating case studies and drawing on cutting-edge research, this book will change the way you think about what you say, and how you say it.