Stillness Is The Key (Ryan Holiday)

 

Books like this are changing my life. Love it! I've been trying to meditate daily since March and I believe it is making a difference in how I handle the back to school stress of school during a pandemic. 

Quotes and notes:

Page xiv

To Seneca and his fellow adherents of stoic philosophy, if a person could develop peace within themselves - if they could achieve apatheia, as they called it-then the whole world could be at war, and they could still think well, work well, and be well. "You may be sure that you are at peace with yourself, "Seneca wrote, "when no noise reaches you, when no word shakes you out of yourself, whether it be flattery or a threat, or merely an empty sound buzzing about you with unmeaning sin." In this state, nothing could touch them (not even a deranged emperor), no emotion could disturb them, no threat could interrupt them, and every beat of the present moment would be theirs for living.

A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention - Herbert Simon

p. 31 Napolean was content with being behind on his mail, even if it upset some people or if he missed  out on some gossip, because it meant that trivial problems had to resolve themselves without him. We need to cultivate a similar attitude - give things a little space, don't consume news in real time, be a season or two behind on the latest trend or cultural phenomenon, don't let your inbox lord over your life.

p. 32 In her diary in 1942, Dorothy Day, the Catholic nun and social activist, admonished herself...."Turn off your radio," she wrote, "put away your daily paper. Read one review of events and spend time reading." Books, spending time reading books - that's what she meant. Books full of wisdom.

(Stillness is the Key, Ryan Holiday, p. 32)

April 2025: There are so many sections of this book that I love. The "Take a Walk" chapter really struck me this time. I need to get walking back into my daily life.

Take a Walk (p. 192) A cantankerous Danish philosopher, Soren Kirkegaard, was particularly eloquent in his writing about walking, but he was by no means alone in his dedication to the practice - nor alone in reaping the benefits. Nietzsche said that the ideas in Thus Spoke Zarathustra came to him on a long walk. Nikola Tesla discovered the rotating magnetic field, one of the most important scientific discoveries of all time on a walk through a city ark in Budapest in 1882. When he lived in Paris, Ermest Hemingway would take long walks along the quais whenever he was stuck in his writing and needed to clarify his thinking. Charles Darwin's daily scheduled included several walks, as did those of Steve Jobs and the groundbreaking psychologists Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman, the latter of whom wrote that "I did the best thinking of my life on leisurely walks with Amos. It was the physical activity in the body, Kahneman said, that got his brain going.

p. 196 Consider who may have walked in this very spot before you. Consider the person who paved the asphalt you are standing on. What was going on with them? Where are they now? What did they believe/ what problems did they have?

When you feel the tug of your responsibilities or the desire to check in with the outside world, push yourself a bit further. If you're on a path you have trod before, take a sudden turn down a street or up a hill where you haven't been before. Feel the unfamiliarity and the newness of these surroundings, drink in what you have not yet tasted.

Get lost. Be unreachable. Go slowly.

It's an affordable luxury available to us all. Even the poorest pauper can go for a nice walk - in a national park or an empty parking lot. Goodreads says: In The Obstacle Is the Way and Ego Is the Enemy, bestselling author Ryan Holiday made ancient wisdom wildly popular with a new generation of leaders in sports, politics, and technology. In his new book, Stillness Is the Key, Holiday draws on timeless Stoic and Buddhist philosophy to show why slowing down is the secret weapon for those charging ahead.

All great leaders, thinkers, artists, athletes, and visionaries share one indelible quality. It enables them to conquer their tempers. To avoid distraction and discover great insights. To achieve happiness and do the right thing. Ryan Holiday calls it stillness--to be steady while the world spins around you.

In this book, he outlines a path for achieving this ancient, but urgently necessary way of living. Drawing on a wide range of history's greatest thinkers, from Confucius to Seneca, Marcus Aurelius to Thich Nhat Hanh, John Stuart Mill to Nietzsche, he argues that stillness is not mere inactivity, but the doorway to self-mastery, discipline, and focus.

Holiday also examines figures who exemplified the power of stillness: baseball player Sadaharu Oh, whose study of Zen made him the greatest home run hitter of all time; Winston Churchill, who in balancing his busy public life with time spent laying bricks and painting at his Chartwell estate managed to save the world from annihilation in the process; Fred Rogers, who taught generations of children to see what was invisible to the eye; Anne Frank, whose journaling and love of nature guided her through unimaginable adversity.

More than ever, people are overwhelmed. They face obstacles and egos and competition. Stillness Is the Key offers a simple but inspiring antidote to the stress of 24/7 news and social media. The stillness that we all seek is the path to meaning, contentment, and excellence in a world that needs more of it than ever. 

Where The Crawdads Sing (Delia Owens)

 

Kya is a girl who grows up alone because she is abandoned by everyone. Her father is abusive and this affects her mother so that she eventually leaves. She doesn't ever really recover from having her mother leave her, and eventually we find out that her mother never recovers from abandoning her children. No one really knows Kya. Even the people who do get close to her don't know her. She protects herself because of all the people that leave her. People make judgments about her and don't really ever give her a chance. It's heartbreaking to watch her endure the scorn from other people. Her ability to make sense of people through connections to her understanding of nature and animals is amazing. She has enough skills to survive on her own, but growing up so isolated really becomes a problem for her that she never really gets over. This was particularly interesting to think about in the midst of the pandemic right now where maintaining connections with people is not easy.

The wonderful thing about Kya is she really teaches that we can all do so much more than we think we can do. When things get really difficult, we usually find out we can do way more than we realize we can do. Kya pulls off everything she needs to do. She's witty and gritty and she gets it done.

When I finished this book I had just had to sit with the feeling it left me. The ending is a surprise and made me feel like I needed to sit and be in it for a while longer. 

This book reminded me of so many other books. It's a little bit like Hatchet because she has to survive on her own. It's a little bit like Tara Westover in Educated because her father is abusive and her family abandons her and even though she never goes to school, she learns to read, one day writes books and earns an honorary degree. It also reminded me of Looks Like Daylight, which was full of stories of First Nations kids and their connection to the land. It also has a murder trial just like To Kill A Mockingbird.

Meaning of the title: when Tate and Kya are looking for a place to hang out, her friend, Tate, suggests that they go somewhere “where the crawdads sing.” He explains to Kya that it means “far in the bush where critters are wild, still behaving like critters.”

Goodreads says:

For years, rumors of the “Marsh Girl” have haunted Barkley Cove, a quiet town on the North Carolina coast. So in late 1969, when handsome Chase Andrews is found dead, the locals immediately suspect Kya Clark, the so-called Marsh Girl. But Kya is not what they say. Sensitive and intelligent, she has survived for years alone in the marsh that she calls home, finding friends in the gulls and lessons in the sand. Then the time comes when she yearns to be touched and loved. When two young men from town become intrigued by her wild beauty, Kya opens herself to a new life–until the unthinkable happens.

Perfect for fans of Barbara Kingsolver and Karen Russell, Where the Crawdads Sing is at once an exquisite ode to the natural world, a heartbreaking coming-of-age story, and a surprising tale of possible murder. Owens reminds us that we are forever shaped by the children we once were, and that we are all subject to the beautiful and violent secrets that nature keeps. 

Spoiler alert:

Why did Kya keep the shell necklace?

The shell necklace that Kya gives to Chase becomes a manifestation of the dissonance between her desire to be loved and her wariness to let other people into her life. ... However, Kya ends up putting the shell on a necklace that she later gives to Chase as a gift.

It's Monday, What Are You Reading?!

 I start school again next week. To say that I'm nervous and cynical about it may be an understatement. I've watched all the stories in the USA of schools going back and having to immediately quarantine and remind myself that the situation is much better in Canada. At least I hope it is. I've decided to go back to posting my weekly reading plans and plan to spend much more of my personal time reading than I have previously during school. 

This is way more than I can read this week, I think - but I can always hope!

My first books this week that I'm focusing on are Stillness is the Key and Becoming. Shari Lapena is the author of my book club's pick this month (The Couple Next Door) and I thought I'd try another one of her books. I have the audio book of Multipliers and so I will read/listen to it as well. Caterpillar Summer is a book I've had around for a while and still haven't read. Time to get to it since summer is fading!

The Couple Next Door (Shari Lapena)

This is one of those books that tempted me to stay up way too late reading (I resisted...my sleeping super-powers are stronger!).

I really enjoyed it. It has lots of twists and turns. Every character seems to have a secret and it just never stops right until the very end.

I felt sorry for Anne. I thought Marco was a push over. Detective Rasbach just lets the crime solve itself. 

The author was an English teacher turned lawyer. Two of my favorite kind of people to discuss books with!

Goodreads says:

It all started at a dinner party. . .

A domestic suspense debut about a young couple and their apparently friendly neighbors--a twisty, rollercoaster ride of lies, betrayal, and the secrets between husbands and wives. . .

Anne and Marco Conti seem to have it all--a loving relationship, a wonderful home, and their beautiful baby, Cora. But one night when they are at a dinner party next door, a terrible crime is committed. Suspicion immediately focuses on the parents. But the truth is a much more complicated story.

Inside the curtained house, an unsettling account of what actually happened unfolds. Detective Rasbach knows that the panicked couple is hiding something. Both Anne and Marco soon discover that the other is keeping secrets, secrets they've kept for years.

What follows is the nerve-racking unraveling of a family--a chilling tale of deception, duplicity, and unfaithfulness that will keep you breathless until the final shocking twist.

Nevertheless, We Persisted: 48 Voices of Defiance, Strength and Courage (So many authors)

At  first, I started to feel like this book was a bit of a downer. Every chapter is a story of someone who is an underdog. As I pressed on though, it became more and more compelling to hear their stories. They are stories of people who not only persisted, but accomplished great things despite other people. The more I read, the more inspired I was. I think this book is one of those best taken in full doses. It reminded me of reading a book by Deborah Ellis on First Nations kids called Looks Like Daylight. It wasn't until I had really buried myself in the stories that the feeling took over. This is one of those books that can change you, if you let it.

Goodreads says:

A powerful collection of essays from actors, activists, athletes, politicians, musicians, writers, and teens, including Senator Amy Klobuchar, actress Alia Shawkat, actor Maulik Pancholy, poet Azure Antoinette, teen activist Gavin Grimm, and many, many more, each writing about a time in their youth when they were held back because of their race, gender, or sexual identity--but persisted.

"Aren't you a terrorist?" "There are no roles for people who look like you." "That's a sin." "No girls allowed." They've heard it all. Actress Alia Shawkat reflects on all the parts she was told she was too "ethnic" to play. Former NFL player Wade Davis recalls his bullying of gay classmates in an attempt to hide his own sexuality. Teen Gavin Grimm shares the story that led to the infamous "bathroom bill," and how he's fighting it. Holocaust survivor Fanny Starr tells of her harrowing time in Aushwitz, where she watched her family disappear, one by one.

What made them rise up through the hate? What made them overcome the obstacles of their childhood to achieve extraordinary success? How did they break out of society's limited view of who they are and find their way to the beautiful and hard-won lives they live today? With a foreword by Minnesota senator and up-and-coming Democratic party leader Amy Klobuchar, these essays share deeply personal stories of resilience, faith, love, and, yes, persistence.

"Each tale is a soulful testament to the endurance of the human spirit and reminds readers that they are not alone in their search for self. An unflinchingly honest book that should be required reading for every young person in America."--Kirkus, Starred review

"An invaluable collection of snapshots of American society."--VOYA, Starred review

"[A] gem of a book. . . There's a lot to study here and talk about on the way to becoming kinder, more empathetic, and most important, compassionate."--Booklist

"Readers encountering injustice in their own lives may be compelled to take heart--and even action."--Publishers Weekly

"A powerful collection of voices."--SLJ

"The sheer variation in writing styles, subject-matters, and structure to these narratives provides readers with inspiration in assorted forms and a complex interpretation of what it means to persist."--The Bulletin

A Heart Like His (Virginia Pearce)

This book actually belongs to my sister-in-law. She lent it to me. I read it a few years ago and came across it again. It is a beautiful story of a group of women working together to learn how to feel and share God's love. I had forgotten that she is Marjorie Pay's daughter. She seems as real and genuine as her mother. It was a short but wonderful read. It's a topic that I could do well to visit again and again.

Goodreads says:

The ability to feel God's love doesn't just make life nicer or more comfortable-it changes everything. When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we cannot do and see and understand on our own. As our own hearts are softened by these blessings, our overriding desire becomes to help others experience this joy also. But how do we do that in the normal course of our everyday lives? Presented in the form of an experiment undertaken by eight friends, this step-by-step guide helps us discover the one change we can make within ourselves that will automatically increase our ability to feel the love of God and to extend that love to others.

The 5 AM Club (Robin Sharma)

This book didn't have to be 336 pages. It reminded me of those children's character virtue books that have a lousy story that are actually meant to teach a principle. There are better ways!

Most of it is a poorly written, drawn out story of an entrepreneur and an artist who are never named but always called The Entrepreneur and The Artist. They're taught by The Spellbinder and The Billionaire/Homeless Man. The Billionaire is a hippy who says things like, "Come on cats!" and my least favorite, "Anyhoo". Totally irritating.

It has some great principles (like exercise first and spend some time planning and studying every day) but it took way too long to get to what I was looking for. I'm sure the same principles are available in other books.

I actually spent way too many days dragging myself through this book. I don't recommend it.

Goodreads says:

Legendary leadership and elite performance expert Robin Sharma introduced The 5am Club concept over twenty years ago, based on a revolutionary morning routine that has helped his clients maximize their productivity, activate their best health and bulletproof their serenity in this age of overwhelming complexity.

      Now, in this life-changing book, handcrafted by the author over a rigorous four-year period, you will discover the early-rising habit that has helped so many accomplish epic results while upgrading their happiness, helpfulness and feelings of aliveness.

      Through an enchanting—and often amusing—story about two struggling strangers who meet an eccentric tycoon who becomes their secret mentor, The 5am Club will walk you through:


How great geniuses, business titans and the world’s wisest people start their mornings to produce astonishing achievements
A little-known formula you can use instantly to wake up early feeling inspired, focused and flooded with a fiery drive to get the most out of each day
A step-by-step method to protect the quietest hours of daybreak so you have time for exercise, self-renewal and personal growth
A neuroscience-based practice proven to help make it easy to rise while most people are sleeping, giving you precious time for yourself to think, express your creativity and begin the day peacefully instead of being rushed
“Insider-only” tactics to defend your gifts, talents and dreams against digital distraction and trivial diversions so you enjoy fortune, influence and a magnificent impact on the world
Part manifesto for mastery, part playbook for genius-grade productivity and part companion for a life lived beautifully, The 5am Club is a work that will transform your life. Forever.