Saturday, May 15, 2021

When Breath Becomes Air (Paul Kalanithi)

 


I was nervous about reading this book for my book club. Perhaps it would be too close to home. My husband has had health issues for the past four years, starting with a stroke and most recently with heart issues. He has not felt well since his stroke four years ago and is under constant supervision of doctors. I continue to hold on to hope for many more years with him despite the daily troubles. 

I found Paul Kalanithi's writing to be beautiful and comforting. He approached his cancer, his life and his death with courage, carefully calculating what was the most important things to check of as time went by. He said: You can't ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving (p. 115)  And isn't that the key? 

I have started to follow his wife on twitter. It must be something to publish a book that tells your story so openly. She currently works as an internist at Stanford and is raising their daughter.

Goodreads says:

For readers of Atul Gawande, Andrew Solomon, and Anne Lamott, a profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir by a young neurosurgeon faced with a terminal cancer diagnosis who attempts to answer the question 'What makes a life worth living?'

At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade's worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi's transformation from a naïve medical student "possessed," as he wrote, "by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life" into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.

What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.

Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book, yet his words live on as a guide and a gift to us all. "I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed nothing and everything," he wrote. "Seven words from Samuel Beckett began to repeat in my head: 'I can't go on. I'll go on.'" When Breath Becomes Air is an unforgettable, life-affirming reflection on the challenge of facing death and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a brilliant writer who became both.

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