[Un]Intentional (Doug Smith)

 

This was an audio book I decided to listen to while delivering flyers for the food bank drive (hours and hours of walking!) It was really good. He has a Biblical approach to the problems with screens. The people creating social media are very intentional at capturing our attention and as a result, we have started to live our lives in unintentional ways. I was quite persuaded by his argument that we have to take back the control and be in charge of our own lives and one of the key ways to do that is to break the screen addiction. I was quite persuaded by the author's approach to this topic. I know I'm much happier and contended when I spend time reading and listening to good podcasts and audio books. The pull of social media is really strong and easy to get sucked into as a time waster.

Goodreads says:

Most of us are unintentional with screens, but tech industry architects intentionally make their content distracting, manipulative, and addictive.

[Un]Intentional shows how our obsession with screens often takes us—unintentionally—to places we regret. It reveals the way many apps, games, and videos are designed to entice us to make decisions and form harmful habits that profit the creators at our expense.

[Un]Intentional helps you break free by guiding you through proven biblical practices to reclaim your thought life, make good decisions, and fulfill your God-given mission.

Billy and the Giant Adventure (Jamie Oliver)

 

January 2025: I might be the only person on the planet who didn't know who Jamie Oliver was before I read this book. He's a chef. He has trouble with words and is apparently dyslexic. He wrote a book. 

I read lots of raving reviews about it....but I'm not on board. I didn't think it was really well written. I also thought it was way to long for J fiction. He could have made each adventure one book if he really wants kids to read it. Close to 400 pages is too much. Although, the pictures were great. They were big and interesting and really well done. 

I always tell my students, when we are learning narrative writing, that they can't a story with "I got up and had breakfast" and they can't end it with "I went home, had dinner and went to bed". Jamie Oliver does that with EVERY single chapter. I know he's a food guy....but it was too much. 

The recipes were interesting. Not sure why he also added his favorite movies from the 80s. Maybe they inspired his story? I don't know. 

It's part Narnia (they escape into a magical forest....David Robertson did a Narnia remake way better in The Barren Grounds), part environmental education (something is wrong with the "Rhythm"....which is always capitalized in the book....I'd encourage kids to read Willowdeen instead of they want that topic) and part adventure (Magic Tree House anyone?).

Oh. And it's called the GIANT adventure because there's a giant....but you don't find that out until the last few chapters. Weird.

There's controversy with book 2. He has been criticized for stereotyping First Nations people in Australia. I blame that one on the editors. Seriously? No one clued in?? I think they just ran with something they thought could really sell because he's already famous. 

Because we picked this for our Grade 3 book club book, I did finish it. I wouldn't have otherwise.

I don't usually have this much to say about books I don't like.

Update: My students LOVED this book. Maybe I should stop being such a grumpy old teacher. LOL We sat in a circle and talked about our favorite parts. Ten students had read it and their responses were so delightful. We had lots of laughs remembering the funny parts of the book.

Reread August 2025. I'm still not a fan. This is a terribly written book. It could have been 200 pages if all the food stuff that kids aren't interested in was left out. With this read I wrote out chapter summaries to help keep myself focused. It was the only thing that kept me going, to be honest. I'll never pick this book again for a book club read! It's just been too painful.

Chapter summaries:

Chapter 1 The Day It All Began We meet all the kids (Billy, Anna, Andy and Jimmy), a bully named Bruce Brace and Basil. Basil is a sprite that lives in Waterfall Woods. He warns them about the boonas - a rag tag group of creatures that like to bother the sprites

Chapter 2 Boonas vs Billy Billy goes into Waterfall Woods alone because he got a message on his necklace that Basil needed help. He has a confrontation with the boonas....all solved with some dramatic fighting which Billy wins dramatically. The worst of the boonas was Mama Boona but Billy conquers her by throwing food his mother had packed for him in a picnic basket (I guess this fit in his backpack?) Billy goes home and shares with his friends that the sprites have told him about a problem in Waterfall Woods - an imbalance.

Chapter 3 Basil to the Rescue Billy's experience with the Boonas gives him courage to take on Bruno the bully at school. Bruno dumps Billy's lunch on his head, steals his donut when he leaves the bakery shop. They have an altercation and finally Billy zips off on his skateboard, only to crash into a lady whose groceries go flying. While trying to help her, of course, Bruno catches up. But Basil freezes everyone. He spends the weekend at his grandfather's house and finds out he knows about the rhythm and about a strange mystery of two brothers who went into Waterfall Woods and one disappeared.

Chapter 4 Battle of the Treehouse The Boonas come to attack Billy. They managed to get a piece of his clothing in the wrestle in the previous chapter. All the kids are in the treehouse. Luckily, Andy eats a lot of beans and has gas and so they're able to create fire while farting on a flame. The Boonas have never seen anything like this and run in fear. Andy is named Andy the Fart Blaster.

Chapter 5 The Lost City

Basil gets lost. They find him and it turns out as they do so they're led to a lost city. There's talk of Balthazar. Who is Balthazar?  Problems with the water and The Rhythm are introduced. Andy's Uncle Kev has a new electronic prison tag? Random weird information (p. 148)

Chapter 6 Who's Wrecking the Rhythm

I can barely stand this anymore. These chapters meander so much. 

Gem of a quote: ....when you've fought off Boonas and discovered hidden cities, the school bully doesn't seem such a big deal anymore (p. 177) Lesson: Imaginative play and ignoring bullies pays!! 

The kids discover more dead fish. They're concerned and set off to figure out why this is happening. They find a pipe that is "gushing green-tinged gunk pouring into the river," which also causes their eyes to sting. They spy on the location and find someone dressed up as a "scary astronaut" (lame description). Seems that they have a turkey farm and all the poop is pumped out on a conveyor belt (why was it green??) They want to keep investigating but they have a field trip coming up so they decide to forge some letters from their parents to give the schools to get out of going to school...elaborate plans and concerns over handwriting, spelling problems, etc are discussed ad nauseum. The kids decide to contact a local reporter because he has always wanted a big break story.

Chapter 7 Billy's Masterplan

Lots of detail about how they write the letters....they eventually discover a typewriter and decide to type their letters excusing their absence. Jimmy is encouraged to "think James Bond". Do kids even know who James Bond is? Couldn't the author find something that would be a better connection?

Finally, they're back on their adventure, only something weird has happened....the compass seems to be totally reversed. They discover some huge beautiful garden and a giant.

Chapter 8 A Giant Mystery

Turns out the giant is friendly and he used to be their size but he ate vegetables a lot and grew like crazy. The giant likes to sing (totally corny song) and has an "enchanting voice". That really doesn't go anywhere though and is instead, an extra superfluous, unnecessary detail. There's some lame dialogue (The giant says, "What's that? Who's that? Where are you....where are you? Let me see you - give me a sign!" They introduce themselves and find out his name is Bilfred. He tells his story: he was sad to be trapped in this garden but he started to realize how beautiful this little piece of paradise was and started to change his attitude. 236) He teaches them that his garden taught him that  nature and life are all about harmony (p. There's weird kid humor moments (Andy yelped and let our a panicked fart, which propelled him just a little bit further...p. 233) The giant also sometimes uses big words: "There are many tales about the symbiotic relationship between Sprites and Giants..." (p. 251) which is kind of weird next to the fart jokes. He gives them some stones in a variety of colors that appear to be magical.

Then there's this weird "meanwhile, back in the bedroom where dad is telling the kids a bedtime story" narrative. I'd almost forgot this book is dad telling kids a story. The kids beg for the story to continue. As the mom, I'd say, just go to sleep! But anyway...

Chapter 9: Operation Overnight

All through the book they use walkie talkies...and have codes like "operation overnight" which means they're all lying to their parents that they're staying at another person's house over night...but in reality they're off on another adventure (sometimes there are great lessons in this book and other times they're plain old lying to their parents and forging letters) Amidst the intricate details of breakfast, Billy finds out from this parents that the reporter friend is on the trail of the story they leaked to him. Billy side steps reporters, circling helicopters, etc to get on with his adventure. They've realized they're able to open the secret door to this land of adventure by being tree-huggers. They're solved the problem of the disturbance of the Rhythm so now their mission is to rescue Bilfred, the giant. They do.

Chapter 10: Bilfred's Tale

Turns out Bilfred had gone into the woods with his brother. They got scared and got separated. Big tears plop down as Bilfred tells the story. The kids realize Bilfred's brother is Wilfred...the cranky old man who always tells them to not go into the woods. Turns out he's only cranky because he misses his brother so very much (insert eye roll). Now the dilemma is how can they reunite a man and his brother when the man is actually a giant and their homes are swarming with journalists. They get Bilfred to tell them a story (code word kind of thing) that only Wilfred would recognize.

Chapter 11 A Midnight Adventure

The break into Wilfred's house and discover a room full of maps all over the walls and newspaper clippings about a boy being lost in the woods. The secret code worked (a tin that Bilfred had given Wilfred and of course, Wilfred still cherishes it)

Chapter 12 Together Again

The hug a tree thing works and Bilfred and Wilfred are reunited. A map is discovered that shows there is even more in the Waterfall Woods than they realized...but that's an adventure for another day.

Epilogue

Kids can't believe this story is over and beg for a resolution to what else happens in Waterfall Woods. Dad promises he'll keep telling stories.

And I'm so glad to be finished this corny book finally. I think it's time to put the book in the recycling, to be honest.

Goodreads says:
One pinch of adventure, a dash of friendship, a sprinkle of mystery and a HUGE spoonful of magic . . . Jamie Oliver, bestselling author and internationally renowned chef, delivers the perfect recipe for a page-turning children's fiction debut!

Billy and his friends know that Waterfall Woods is out of bounds; strange things are rumoured to have happened there and no one in their village has ventured past its walls for decades...But when they discover a secret way in, Billy and his best friends, Anna, Jimmy and Andy, can't resist the temptation to explore! Only to quickly discover that the woods are brimming with magic and inhabited by all sorts of unusual creatures, including a whole community of sprites who need the children's help!

With magical battles, a long-lost mythical city, fantastical flying machines, epic feasts and one GIANT rescue, get ready for an adventure you'll never forget!

The Maid (Nita Prose)

 

This was kind of like Amelia Bedelia grows up and becomes a maid and becomes part of a murder. 

Her obsession with things being super clean totally spoke to my heart. I get it! 

I'll totally read more in this series. It was just what I needed: a light weekend read after a tiring week of being back to school.

Nita Prose has to be a pseudonym, right??

Goodreads says:

Molly Gray is not like everyone else. She struggles with social skills and misreads the intentions of others. Her gran used to interpret the world for her, codifying it into simple rules that Molly could live by.

Since Gran died a few months ago, twenty-five-year-old Molly has been navigating life's complexities all by herself. No matter—she throws herself with gusto into her work as a hotel maid. Her unique character, along with her obsessive love of cleaning and proper etiquette, make her an ideal fit for the job. She delights in donning her crisp uniform each morning, stocking her cart with miniature soaps and bottles, and returning guest rooms at the Regency Grand Hotel to a state of perfection.

But Molly's orderly life is upended the day she enters the suite of the infamous and wealthy Charles Black, only to find it in a state of disarray and Mr. Black himself dead in his bed. Before she knows what's happening, Molly's unusual demeanor has the police targeting her as their lead suspect. She quickly finds herself caught in a web of deception, one she has no idea how to untangle. Fortunately for Molly, friends she never knew she had unite with her in a search for clues to what really happened to Mr. Black—but will they be able to find the real killer before it's too late?

A Clue-like, locked-room mystery and a heartwarming journey of the spirit, The Maid explores what it means to be the same as everyone else and yet entirely different—and reveals that all mysteries can be solved through connection to the human heart.

Penguin Huddle (Ross Montgomery)

 We loved this! It totally captured our imagination. And who couldn't love these penguins?! 

Goodreads says:

A charming and playful picture book told with humour and heart from the brilliant team behind Ten Delicious Teachers.

The penguin pack play all day long. And when the sun goes down, and the night grows cold and dark…“PENGUIN HUDDLE!” The penguins squeeze and squish together to stay warm and cosy. But one night, there is a freezing gale. And the next morning … the penguins are stuck! They are frozen together like a giant penguin ice pop. What a penguin MUDDLE! Nobody in the Antarctic can figure out how to unstick them. But Pipsqueak, the smallest penguin of them all, has a brilliant idea... They must adventure out of their snowy home to a vibrant city across the great, gleaming ocean to solve their penguin puzzle.

This light-hearted tale of jolly penguins big and small is a celebration of friendship, community spirit and helping those in trouble.

Millie Fleur's Poison Garden (Christy Mandin)

 

This is a super cute story with a great message. Be yourself!! 

It would be fun to plant some strange garden plants after reading this.

Goodreads says:
Wednesday Addams meets The Curious Garden in this delightfully peculiar story about finding joy in being wonderfully weird.

Garden Glen is a very bland place. Every house and every garden looks exactly like the other. That is… until Millie Fleur La Fae comes to town.

Up on a scruffy hill, beside a ramschackle house, Millie Fleur plants her marvelously strange garden, filled with Sneezing Stickyweed, Fanged Fairymoss, and Grumpy Gilliflower. Millie Fleur finds it enchanting, but the townspeople of Garden Glen call it poison!

But Millie Fleur is proud of her beloved little garden. So if some townspeople want to be sticks in the mud, she'll take matters into her own hands and find the kindred spirits who appreciate everything the garden has to offer.

Millie Fleur's Poison Garden is a reminder to embrace everything that makes us wonderfully weird. Perfect for readers of The Creepy Carrots and fans of the Addams Family movies.

Don't Trust Fish (Neil Sharpson)

 

I'll read any Dan Santat book....even if he's the illustrator and there's a different author. This book is so great. It starts by simply stating facts. When it gets to fish it talks about all the ways fish are absurd...and it's hilarious. 

This would be great book to talk about genre. Everywhere I look it says it's fiction, but I'd be willing to teach that it's informational non-fiction!

Also, when stating the facts, every sentence is a subject opener. It would be fun to re-write this book using different types of openers. 

Goodreads says:

An absurdly laugh-out-loud funny picture book about the villainy of fish, illustrated by National Book Award-winning creator Dan Santat

Why, dear reader, must you NEVER EVER trust fish?

1) They spend all their time in the water where we can’t see them.
2) Some are as big as a bus—that is not okay.
3) We don't know what they're teaching in their "schools."
4) They are likely plotting our doom.

This nature-guide-gone-wrong is a hilarious, off-the-rails exploration of the seemingly innocent animals that live in the water.

Do Nothing (Celeste Headlee)

 

I had no idea who Celeste Headlee was before reading this book. I like her! She's done a lot and written a lot. 

Bertrand Russell (in 1932!): It will be said that, while a little leisure is pleasant, men would not know how to fill their days if they had only four hours of work out of the twenty-four. In so far s this is true in the modern world, it is a condemnation of our civilization; it would not have been true at any earlier period. There was formerly a capacity for light-heartedness and play which has been to some extent inhibited by the cult of efficiency. The modern man thinks that everything out to be done for the sake of something else, and never for it's own sake. (In Praise of Idleness)

The beginning of the book could be summed up with the idea that working hard actually does not get you ahead - so cut it out. Also, "what are you working so hard for?! Your Puritan upbringing that taught you that idleness is sinful." 

I have a hard time giving up the concept of working hard. The second half of the book was more about how to analyze how you're really spending your time - which leads to the idea that you do have time to relax if you just quit scrolling or doing other time-wasters - which I can buy into.

Goodreads says:

Despite our constant search for new ways to 'hack' our bodies and minds for peak performance, human beings are working more instead of less, living harder not smarter, and becoming more lonely and anxious. We strive for the absolute best in every aspect of our lives, ignoring what we do well naturally. Why do we measure our time in terms of efficiency instead of meaning? Why can't we just take a break?

In Do Nothing, award-winning journalist Celeste Headlee illuminates a new path ahead, seeking to institute a global shift in our thinking so we can stop sabotaging our well-being, put work aside and start living instead of doing.

The key lies in embracing what makes us human: our creativity, our social connections (Instagram doesn't count), our ability for reflective thought, and our capacity for joy. Celeste's strategies will allow you to regain control over your life and break your addiction to false efficiency, including:

-Increase your time perception and determine how your hours are being spent.
-Stop comparing yourself to others.
-Invest in quality idle time. Take a hot bath and listen to music.
-Spend face-to-face time with friends and family

It's time to recover our leisure time and reverse the trend that's making us all sadder, sicker, and less productive.

Lula Dean's Little Library of Banned Books (Kirsten Miller)

 

This book was equally enraging and endearing all at the same time. I loved it. It was one of those books that you just can't stop reading. 

One challenge for me is there were a LOT of characters. If I read it again, I'll make a list so I can be more efficient with my reading.

Goodreads says:
The provocative and hilarious summer read that will have book lovers cheering and everyone talking! Kirsten Miller, author of The Change, brings us a bracing, wildly entertaining satire about a small Southern town, a pitched battle over banned books, and a little lending library that changes everything.

Beverly Underwood and her arch enemy, Lula Dean, live in the tiny town of Troy, Georgia, where they were born and raised. Now Beverly is on the school board, and Lula has become a local celebrity by embarking on mission to rid the public libraries of all inappropriate books—none of which she’s actually read. To replace the “pornographic” books she’s challenged at the local public library, Lula starts her own lending library in front of her home: a cute wooden hutch with glass doors and neat rows of the worthy literature that she’s sure the town’s readers need.

But Beverly’s daughter Lindsay sneaks in by night and secretly fills Lula Dean’s little free library with banned books wrapped in “wholesome” dust jackets. The Girl’s Guide to the Revolution is wrapped in the cover of The Southern Belle’s Guide to Etiquette. A jacket that belongs to Our Confederate Heroes ends up on Beloved. One by one, neighbors who borrow books from Lula Dean’s library find their lives changed in unexpected ways. Finally, one of Lula Dean’s enemies discovers the library and decides to turn the tables on her, just as Lula and Beverly are running against each other to replace the town’s disgraced mayor.

That’s when all the townspeople who’ve been borrowing from Lula’s library begin to reveal themselves. It’s a diverse and surprising bunch—including the local postman, the prom queen, housewives, a farmer, and the former DA—all of whom have been changed by what they’ve read. When Lindsay is forced to own up to what she’s done, the showdown that’s been brewing between Beverly and Lula will roil the whole town...and change it forever.

Before Happiness (Shawn Achor)

 

Notes:

The author says that we can create positive realities...and when we do that, we are happier. Happiness actually comes before success, not from it.

His TedTalk is worth watching.

1. Reality Architecture

- Realize that multiple versions of reality exist. Some will always see the negative and a few will see the positive. 

- Whichever one you choose to focus on, you can dramatically reduce the affects of stress.

- If you change your viewpoint, you can see different advantages
- Pursue the most advantageous reality

2. Mental Cartography

- Highlight meaning markers along the way

- Find many meanings and different ways to look at how you can achieve success - this is called reorienting your map for success

- Map your success routes before you look for escape routes

- Don't start at zero. Show yourself some progress you've already made and start there.

- Find points of progress you can celebrate along the way

3. Cancel the Noise - boost the signal that points to greater

- Noise check your life: is information coming in unusable, unpractical, hypothetical and distracting - cancel it out!  

- Do the 5% experiment. For two weeks, try to decrease your information intake by 5%. Cut out information that fits some of the information on "noise"

- Keep a car radio off for the first five minutes of your commute, limit TV news, and limit articles that report on negative events half a world away

- Create active noise canceling by posting a sign next to your desk listing the 3 waves of positive energy

    - I will keep my worry in proportion to the likelihood of the event

    - I will not ruin 10,000 days to be right on a handful

    - I will not equate worrying with being loving or responsible

- Fact Check - keep your worrying in proportion to the likelihood of the event by asking these two questions:

        1. How often has this negative event happened in the past?

        2. How often has this negative event occurred to me personally?

- Do a 5-minute writing exercise. Anytime you hear doubting voices, take 5 minutes to write about things you feel passionate and positive about (your children, your sports, your values, your faith). By actively canceling such noises, you can increase your performance by 10-15%.

- Exercise! Add exercise to your routine. It decreases anxiety by as much as 20%. 

4. Creating Positive Inception - transfer your reality to others

- The person who speaks first is often perceived to be the leader. Set the tone by saying something helpful first.

- The social script has to be written by someone. Why not you?! 

- Make your tone and look fit your words. Nod and smile when others are sharing to make your non-verbals positive.

- Change the script from tragedy to comedy. Humor wields more social influence.

- Share stories from people who have benefited from what you do to inspire others.

- Start each conversation with a compliment or encouraging comment

- Add 3 smiles: flex your powerful positivity muscle 3 times a day

- Write down funny things you hear and find a way to share it in the next 24 hours (but not with a FWD email or post!)

- Create a narrative - develop a shared positive narrative about a time you or your team overcame something. Write out a real story with climax, conflict and resolving action.

Working on your humor

- keep lists of jokes and funny stories

- watch comedy shows to work on your timing

Goodreads says:

Why are some people able to make positive change while others remain the same?

In his international bestseller, The Happiness Advantage, Harvard trained researcher Shawn Achor described why happiness is the precursor to greater success. This book is about what comes before both. Because before we can be happy or successful, we need to first develop the ability to see that positive change is possible. Only once we learn to see the world through a more positive lens can we summon all our motivation, emotion, and intelligence to achieve our personal and professional goals.

In Before Happiness, Achor reveals five actionable, proven strategies for changing our lens to positive:

· The Most Valuable Reality: See a broader range of ideas and solutions by changing the details on which your brain chooses to focus
· Success Mapping: Set goals oriented around the things in life that matter to you most, whether career advancement or family or making a difference in the world
· The X-spot: Use success accelerants to propel you more quickly towards those goals, whether finishing a marathon, reaching a sales target, learning a language, or losing 10 pounds
· Noise-Canceling: Boost the signal pointing you to opportunities and possibilities that others miss
· Positive Inception: Transfer these skills to your team, your employees, and everyone around you

By mastering these strategies, you’ll create an renewable source of positivity, motivation, and engagement that will allow you to reach your fullest potential in everything you do.

His TedTalk is great:

Mercy (Jodi Picoult)

 

I've read a few Jodi Picoult books and always enjoyed them. I can't say the same for this one. It's definitely her style - one story from many perspectives. She does a good job of that. I just didn't like the content.

Spoiler alert: I did not like Cam...he's a jerk who seems to resent his wife for loving him. Mia made no sense. She comes into town, gets hired immediately in Allie's flower shop and starts an affair with Cam. I kept thinking there'd be a back story that made it logical - that somehow they knew each other before and happen to cross paths again. Nope. The story of Jamie and his wife was the only redeeming part of this book. I'm glad he was found innocent.   I didn't understand why the bit about Cameron's Scottish family history mattered....except it seemed like he got the position as Chief of Police just because he was family? It seemed extra. There were a lot of seemingly unnecessary characters (like the old girlfriend who comes to town to do a book talk? Nothing came of that. Even the MIL....totally periphery to the story and irritatingly not willing to stand up to her son when is doing something so terrible...but she did spread around some healing herbs....eeesh)

I don't like stories about adultery. I kept reading it because it was a book club pick and I kept hoping Cam would wise up. I don't think he ever does. Mia leaves town. Allie sells everything that is his (even his uniforms) and he has to go around town trying to buy everything back. He's frustrated that it takes Allie so long to get over the affair. He's a jerk. She does forgive him though. She's nice like that. I can't really say I don't like her. I just think she's a woman who didn't deserve what she got. I did like that Graham, the unproven lawyer who works in his dad's law firm, wins the case. Good job Graham. May this be the beginning of something great for you. I hope Jamie marries again and finds happiness.

Characters:

• Allie - flowershop owner (located close to the police station to bind him to her), doting wife
• Cameron MacDonald - police chief, feels caged, reads travel magazines secretly
• Angus MacDonald - grandfather? uncle? To Cameron MacDonald
• James MacDonald - murderer (cousin?)
• Maggic MacDonald - murder victim
• Mia - works in flower shop suddenly, stranger but hired and sleeps at their house, somehow familiar to Cameron, presented as someone who's free to travel the world
• Casey McRae - patrolman
• Graham McPhee - lawyer, Cameron has dirt on him from when he was 18, Cameron secretly hires him to represent James
• Martha Sully - magistrate at the courthouse
• Cleo - paralegal secretary in Graham's office
• Verona McBean - author Damnation in the 90's "To Hell and Back" The Nature of Hell (this character is only mentioned and not developed at all, only appears in the beginning of the book
• Jock Farquhason - bank teller
• Ellen MacDonald - Cameron's mother, husband, Ian, died 8 years ago, naturopath (Mothers of Light, New Age Community School)
• Emily Kerr - 80 years old, 5'0", gets a gun permit
• judge (name?) - has some funny quirks
• Audra Campbell - lawyer for the crown in court case

Lots of secrets in chapter 4:

• Graham hired by Cameron to represent James
• Cam hired Gram
• Cam kissed Mia
• Allia visits James in jail

Goodreads says:

Police chief of a small Massachusetts town, Cameron McDonald makes the toughest arrest of his life when his own cousin Jamie comes to him and confesses outright that he has killed his terminally ill wife out of mercy.

Now, a heated murder trial plunges the town into upheaval, and drives a wedge into a contented marriage: Cameron, aiding the prosecution in their case against Jamie, is suddenly at odds with his devoted wife, Allie -- seduced by the idea of a man so in love with his wife that he'd grant all her wishes, even her wish to end her life. And when an inexplicable attraction leads to a shocking betrayal, Allie faces the hardest questions of the heart: when does love cross the line of moral obligation? And what does it mean to truly love another?

Praised for her "personal, detail-rich style" (Glamour), Jodi Picoult infuses this page-turning novel with heart, warmth, and startling candor, taking readers on an unforgettable emotional journey.

Supercommunicators (Charles Duhigg)

 

I read another book by this author called The Power of Habit. It was really good.

I had to do some reframing with this book. I know people that he describes. I have often labelled them as manipulators. They're good at working people and "getting them on their side". People who laugh a lot (and loud) with people seem fake to me. I'm aware that laughter is a social construct. 

When phones first came out people thought no one would have REAL conversations on the phone. Teenagers proved that wrong! Talking on the phone requires more annunciating. 

Online communication is tricker because there is no voice. For example, a winking emoji after sarcasm helps improve communication. Rules of good online communication: Over emphasize politeness. Express more gratitude, deference, greetings, apologies and hedges.

"The right conversation, at the right moment, can change everything."

p. 112 Less than 20% of the laughter in our sample was a response to anything resembling a formal effort at humor. Rather, people laughedbecause they wanted to connect with the person they were speaking with. The vast majority of laughs, Provine wrote, "seemed to follow rather banal remarks," such as "Does anyone have a rubber band?"; "It was nice meeting you too"; and "U think I'm done." Mutual playfulness, in -group feeling and positive emotional tone - not comedy - mark the social settings of most naturally occurring laughter," Province concluded. Laughter is powerful, he wrote, because it is contagious, "Immediate and involuntary, involving the most direct communication possible between people: Brain to brain."
We laugh, in other words, to show someone that we want to connec twith them - and our companions laugh back to demonstrate they want to connect with us, as well. ....and so it follows that we exhibit emotional intelligence not just by hearing another person's feelings, but by showing we have heard them. Laughter, and other nonlinguistic expressios such as gasps and sighs, or smiles and frowns, are emobidiments of the matching principle, which says that we communicate by aligning our behaviors until our brains become entrained.

But how we match other people matters...If we chuckle only slightly at someone's joke, while they laugh uproariously, we'll both see it as a sign that we're not in sync - or worse, that one of us is trying too hard, or the other is not trying hard enough.

p. 118 One of the reasons supercommunicators are so talented at picking up on how others feel is because they have a habit of noticing the energy in others' gestures, the volume of their voices, how fast they are speaking, their cadence and affect. They pay attention to whether someone's posture indicates they are feeling down, or if they are are so excited they can barely contain it. Supercommunicators allow themselves to match that energy and mood, or at least acknowledge it, and thereby make it clear they want to align. They help us see and hear our feelings via their own bodies and voices. By matching our mood and energy, they make it obvious they are trying to connect.

p. 142 In a conflict, we draw out emotions by proving we are listening. We prove we are listening by looping for understanding (1. ask questions, 2. Summarize what you heard. 3. Ask if you got it right and repeat until everyone agrees we understand.)

p. 163 In a conflict, everyone craves control, but trying to control someone is destructive. Focus on controlling yourself, your environment and the conflict's boundaries.

p. 193 How to talk about who we are:

1. Draw out multiple identities
2. Put everyone on equal footing
3. Create new groups by building on existing identities

Podcasts about this book:
Art of Manliness (ugh for that title) 

Articles about this book:

Time Magazine How to Have More Meaningful Conversations

Financial Times Super Communicators are Made, Not Born

Linked In A Useful Concise Summary of Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg

Videos:
Four Minute Book Summaries

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1. The Three Conversation Types

Duhigg argues most interactions unfold within one (or a mix) of these:

Conversation Type	Central Question	Dominant Mode
Practical (Analytical)	“What’s this really about?”	Logic, evidence, decision-making
Emotional (Feelings)	“How do we feel?”	Emotions, vulnerabilities, empathy
Social / Identity‑based	“Who are we?”	Group roles, identity, self‑perception

2. The Matching Principle

Match others’ tone, pace, body language, and emotional energy to build rapport—and even entrain brainwaves in group settings.

3. Looping for Understanding - builds trust and ensures clarity

A three-step listening technique:

1. Ask a probing question

2. Repeat in your own words what you heard

3. Confirm accuracy with the speaker....ask if you got it right. 
   

4. Four Rules of “Learning Conversations”

To align conversations and deepen connection, follow these guidelines:

• Identify the conversation type

• Share and request goals

• Ask about feelings and share your own

• Note if identities or roles matter to what’s being discussed.

5. Navigating Conflict & Identity Safely

• Recognize conflict often stems from emotional or identity-based conversations.

• Prepare for tough conversations by listening first, acknowledging identities, avoiding generalizations, and using personal stories—not lectures.

6. Digital Communication Cues (Online Etiquette)

For online messaging and forums:

• Err on the side of politeness, limit sarcasm, express appreciation and deference, and avoid criticism in public threads.

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Actionable Takeaways

• Pause and Reflect: Before speaking, ask yourself what kind of conversation you want to have and what the other person might want.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage others to share their values, beliefs, and experiences.
• Listen Actively: Pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, and ask follow-up questions to show you're engaged.
• Express Empathy: Validate the other person's emotions and show that you understand their perspective.
• Share Your Own Vulnerabilities: Build trust by sharing your own experiences and feelings.
• Acknowledge Social Identities: Be aware of how social identities might be influencing the conversation, and create a safe space for diverse perspectives.
• Practice Looping for Understanding: Summarize what you heard and ask the speaker if the summary was accurate.

Goodreads says:

Who and what are supercommunicators? They're the people who can steer a conversation to a successful conclusion. They are able to talk about difficult topics without giving offence. They know how to make others feel at ease and share what they think. They're brilliant facilitators and decision-guiders. How do they do it?

In this groundbreaking book, Charles Duhigg unravels the secrets of the supercommunicators to reveal the art - and the science - of successful communication. He unpicks the different types of everyday conversation and pinpoints why some go smoothly while others swiftly fall apart. He reveals the conversational questions and gambits that bring people together. And he shows how even the most tricky of encounters can be turned around. In the process, he shows why a CIA operative was able to win over a reluctant spy, how a member of a jury got his fellow jurors to view an open-and-shut case differently, and what a doctor found they needed to do to engage with a vaccine sceptic.

Above all, he reveals the techniques we can all master to successfully connect with others, however tricky the circumstances. Packed with fascinating case studies and drawing on cutting-edge research, this book will change the way you think about what you say, and how you say it.

Hello, Tree (Ana Crespo)

 

This story was written after a fire in Colorado in 2013. In the last 12 years and I'm sure into the future, there have been and will be many more fires like this. This story is told from the tree's perspective. It is really beautiful and would bring comfort to someone who has gone through a huge fire, I think.

Goodreads says:

Inspired by the 2013 Black Forest fire and told from the viewpoint of a tree watching its home destroyed, Hello, Tree is about the kinship between humans and nature, and preservation of the environment.

It was a swallow who called it first.
“Fire’s coming!”
And the animals ran away.
Even the insects tried to flee.
The girl and her family left, too.
All I could do…was wait.
 
When a wildfire comes roaring into the forest, all the animals and humans flee. But all the tree can do is wait. Wait until many days and nights pass. Wait until the fire loses the battle. And wait until the forest is still before the forest can be reborn and the animals and the girl can come back.

Gather Round (David Covell)

 

Short and quick....dad and daughter make a fire, others gather around. 

This book would be a great introduction to metaphor:

(from the back page)
A Campfire is a Living Thing
Just like you! 

A campfire needs air, just like you. Don't get too close. Give it space to breathe.

A fire eats things, just like you. It eats things like paper and wood - not like you. Don't feed a fire too much or it will grow too big. You'll grow big. That's AMAZING! But fires are best staying small.

A fire can get angry. Have you ever felt like that? When a fire throws a tantrum, it can hurt things. Help a campfire stay calm and quiet. It's best when they don't roar.

A campfire has to sleep, just like you. It can't keep going all day and all night. Water helps fires go to sleep and a blanket of dirt can tuck it in.

Goodreads says:

New York Times Best Illustrated Book Award winner David Covell follows up Run Wild with a timely book about the importance of community and coming together.

Crackle. Crinkle. Sizzle. POP!
Listen to the fire talk.
It's telling us a story . . .

    Since the magic and warmth of fire was discovered long ago, campfires have protected, aided, and inspired us. Perhaps most importantly, they've brought us together. 

    In this gorgeous picture book, a girl and her father build a campfire together to keep the cold at bay. But as they welcome passing travelers--from musicians to animals--they create a community, fostered by a crackling fire and its comforting warmth.

    Written in sparkling, melodic prose, Gather Round is the perfect follow-up and companion to David Covell's New York Times Best Illustrated, Run Wild.

We Are All Equal (P. Crumble)

 

Quick read. Super simple....as equality should be. 

No one is better than another because of their appearance, advantages, social standings, financial background, or education. 

This is something I would use to show how everyone in the classroom is different in their own way. Even though we all have differences, does not mean they should be treated different. Everyone should treat everyone the way they want to be treated, no matter how similar or different they are.

Goodreads says:

No matter who you are, where you come from, where you live, what you look like, who you love, whether you are small or tall, whether you walk or run, this book celebrates the richness in our differences and the joy that we are all equal.

Enigma Girls (Candace Fleming)

 

I was especially struck that these girls/women did not say anything about their experience for 30+ years! This is another example of women's stories going untold. They were compelled to be silent about their experience because of the war - but it is interesting how long they maintained their silence! At Bletchley Park there were over 8000 employees, 75% of which were female.

The stories are compelling. The chapters are short. It fills a gap in our understanding of World War II. This would be an okay book for some of the best readers in grade three. Imagining someone they know that is the same age and comparing their life experiences to what these girls were doing is eye-opening. These are ordinary teenagers who are entrusted with detailed and top secret codes. 

All this got me curious to see if there were Canadian women involved in code-breaking. There were. There is a CBC article here about Elsa Lessard.

Olive Bailey, who lives in BC and Marjorie Stetson in this video:

Goodreads says:

From award-winning author Candace Fleming, comes the powerful and fascinating story of the brave and dedicated young women who helped turn the tides of World War II for the Allies, with their hard work and determination at Bletchley Park. Scholastic Focus is the premier home of thoroughly researched, beautifully written, and thoughtfully designed works of narrative nonfiction aimed at middle-grade and young adult readers. These books help readers learn about the world in which they live and develop their critical thinking skills so that they may become dynamic citizens who are able to analyze and understand our past, participate in essential discussions about our present, and work to grow and build our future. "You are to report to Station X at Bletchley Park, Buckinghamshire, in four days time....That is all you need to know." This was the terse telegram hundreds of young women throughout the British Isles received in the spring of 1941, as World War II raged. As they arrived at Station X, a sprawling mansion in a state of disrepair surrounded by Spartan-looking huts with little chimneys coughing out thick smoke—these young people had no idea what kind of work they were stepping into. Who had recommended them? Why had they been chosen? Most would never learn all the answers to these questions. Bletchley Park was a well-kept secret during World War II, operating under the code name Station X. The critical work of code-cracking Nazi missives that went on behind its closed doors could determine a victory or loss against Hitler’s army. Amidst the brilliant cryptographers, flamboyant debutantes, and absent-minded professors working there, it was teenaged girls who kept Station X running. Some could do advanced math, while others spoke a second language. They ran the unwieldy bombe machines, made sense of wireless sound waves, and sorted the decoded messages. They were expected to excel in their fields and most know how to keep a secret. Candace Fleming is the award-winning and highly acclaimed author of Crash from Outer Space , The Curse of the Mummy , and many other nonfiction books for young readers. With her canny and compelling narrative voice she makes history come alive. Thick with tension and suspense, this is an extraordinary and relatively unknown story of World War II that will fascinate readers who will be thrilled to see young people playing such an important role in the wartime effort.

Marianne The Maker (Kelly Corrigan and Claire Corrigan Lichty)

 

Good story to read when we're working on our toy project! 

Goodreads says:
From bestselling author Kelly Corrigan and her daughter debut author Claire Corrigan Lichty comes a new picture book about a determined young inventor!

Marianne's days are filled with schedules, structure, and soccer. There's just one Marianne is a maker. She needs every minute of her weekends to scheme and dream, draw and design, to build and rebuild! This is the story of how a creator with a crackerjack imagination finds a not-so-great way to skip practice and create her masterpiece. But will her dad understand?

Told in delightful rhyme that bounces across George Sweetland's gorgeous collage-style illustrations (chock full of hidden gems,) Marianne the Maker is sure to kindle the creative spark that lives inside all of us.